To write, or not to write? That has become the usual question. The time is 17:40 as I write to you from Grandparents Cafe in Phra Nakhon Si Ayutthaya, Thailand. Better known as simply: Ayutthaya. This city was the capitol of Thailand from “1350 until razed by the Burmese in 1767…”-Wikipedia.
I am texting Jo as I sit here, although I came to this cafe alone to maintain more focus on my writing. Sometimes I feel bad for desiring my own space. Not bad necessarily, but I do feel some type of way about it. I only will be spending a little time with Jo before my return to America, so it can seem wasteful to come to a cafe alone. There is a problem with my plans in that I still need to buy a plane ticket. Now I am looking at spending $400 instead of the $322 my ticket would have originally cost, and I would really only be leaving seven days earlier. That probably works out to the same amount of money. Next time I see a plane ticket I know is a low price, I am just going to purchase it.
Sometimes I wrestle with my emotions too long! I know I am over thinking my leaving situation to an extreme amount. To think that I am going to survive on $400 over the next 2 months is…seriously of concern to me. I have been talking so extensively about leaving in March…I just don’t know. Right now I am spending 45 Baht on a cappuccino, and honestly if money was no object I would order a second one. I am wondering what I should do for work when I return to America, more than likely San Francisco. I am highly considering sending an email to Adelaide hostel. I already wrote the email, I really just need to edit, and send it. If I spend $400 on a plane ticket…that is going to leave me with about $400 left to live on over the next 2 months. Will Laos be cheaper than Thailand? I just don’t know. If I were to decide to leave this month, before my visa is up on the 31st…I wonder how Jo would feel about that. It wasn’t my original plan, nor my secondary plan, but it is starting to look like an option. Right now tickets are $669 dollars to get back to SF on Japan Airlines on the 31st. Wow…that is such a huge difference. I bet I could go pretty far with $270 over here. I am definitely learning something about traveling by air, and in the future, I will be booking early!
The fact is that I am not totally broke. I have my stock in BPMX, which isn’t in the black yet, but I have come up from a significant loss of $1500, and not I am only down $1000. I believe if I can wait until march to sell I will be in the black, and I believe if I can wait it out longer that stock could really serve me will. It would be a shame if I sold in March, only to watch the stock rise to $0.50 or more throughout the year. There is also the risk they get booted from the NYSE if the stock doesn’t go up this year, and that seems like serious biz. I don’t want to lose it all. If my stock got booted from the NYSE it would turn into a long term investment realll quick if I decided to wait it out. I will keep reading the news every day. If the stock jumps to $1.00, I will sell without question. If it doesn’t… I am feeling like I might sell in March, and then if things are going well I can buy back during the summer months, or I can just leave the stock alone. The smart money is still in cannabis, but am I the kinna guy that has been busting smart moves?
So if I email the Adelaide and they accept me for employment in March, I would be pulling up to SF with a source of income, and a place to stay. I think I could stay with Casey and have it be chill, however, if I needed to stay at the Adelaide I could do that too. If I remember correctly I would spend a little bit more to stay at the Adelaide…and it might actually be nice to stay with Casey for a bit. I don’t know what his life is like right now, but I know I like chillin with that cat. We could catch up, and then hopefully start making some money together. I’d like if he would invest with me, not only so we could break bread together, but also so we both wouldn’t have access to our money and thus we would avoid doing anything stupid. Like getting high. Or getting drunk. I realized long ago that if I stopped drinking, it doesn’t matter what I do, I will find success. I still believe that to be true, and I believe the same could go for Casey. Beyond that however, it is still not as quick of a road as I want it to be. I am now considering going to Mexico. Maybe Casey would be a good partner to go to Mexico with? I can’t imagine traveling South America and Central America with Casey…might be a bad idea lol. Might be the best thing either of us ever do!
Next time I travel, I am going to buy a round trip ticket. I bet if I worked at the Adelaide I could take a round trip next year. There is also the subject of my father’s kids getting older, and I am wondering what his next move is. My brother turns 18 tomorrow, and I think he is setting himself up for success like no one else in the family has done, by being signed up for the Marines. Four years is going to fly past, and then I am going to be witnessing my brother gaining success in whatever field he enters. I don’t want to grow jealous of the life my siblings lead, and that is just one of many reasons I am making a hefty effort to pick up the pace of my success. I need to be patient. I need to have some consistency. I lived in SF for a whole year, and I really was all over the place. If I just settled into a living situation, I think the good life would make its way to me. First I’m working at the Adelaide…then I find myself a second job…I start investing my money wisely. I need a goal. Think I can make 20k in one year? Better yet, before the end of the year? From March 15th to December 15th, that would mean I need to save over 2k a month. It would be hella tough, but in San Francisco I know it is a doable feat. If Casey could replicate what I do we could have 40k next year. That’s enough money for us to open our own hostel. I am really considering opening my own hostel. I also want to live the creative life. I want to travel the world and continue my writing, even if it’s all just for my own desires. I do however believe strongly that if I could be owning my own hostel by 30, I could be living the good life by 35; spending a portion of the year traveling. I need to bust down the walls of hard work and find the field of prosperity! I know that I will. I just gotta put my mind to it.
Okay, I am going to head back to Sunrise Place now, the hotel Jo and myself are occupying, and so this article may not make it to the blog right away, but at least I wrote it. The time is 18:19 here in Thailand, and I am saying peace for now.