4.20 @ SPARC

I am at SPARC, and I am really disappointed to say I just spend $63 on a half ounce of weed. Just a couple of days ago I was looking into the prospects of purchasing by the pound for $250 per. Ugh. It wasn’t a lit 420. Now there is ppl at my table. I’m gonna smoke a j.

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Wow. What an evening, especially after the day I had. So I closed up my computer after a group of three people sat down to my same table at SPARC and starting talking to me just a little bit. I thought it was about to be a full on conversation I got into, but it really wasn’t all that much. So I sat and smoked the vape, sharing the Volcano with the 3-person group and then one phone-loner sitting next to me. Eventually they left; in reverse order, and then a group of five gents from NYC sat down. Well they just said New York…but I think they meant the city. To me, they implied that they live in the City of New York, not just the state. I chatted it up with them, and found it interesting when I asked: “ever been to Chicago,” and the guy closest to me replied “No. I hear it’s small and windy.” BOOM. Small and windy. Idk if that’s how I’d describe Chicago, because Milwaukee is so small in comparison, but ‘small and windy’ doesn’t sound good; if that’s how 5 New Yorkers know your city. lol

Soothe small bit of writing from SPARC was like 19:00, and I was there for like an hour and a half. Currently the time is 21:08 and I am writing to you from Happy Donuts in North Beach. I have too many stories to tell…how can it be that I say that? I spend so much time writing, I ought to just tell the storie. So actually those guys from NYC left SPARC and then a new guy sat down named Raj, and he is from the city, and he was doing the rounds to the smoke shops tonight for 4/20. Interesting thing though, he works at The Ferry Building, and I was like “Oh cool, my roommate works at Farm Fresh Produce…or Fresh To You Produce or something like that,” and before I even finished my sentence he was like “Oh ha, really? I think I know who he is.” “Hmm, Yeah?” I replied “Yeah. Let’s just leave it at that.”

Whattt the fuck does that mean you guys? He knows Casey because Casey is…a lunatic? He is a bit crazy man; does totally abnormal stuff, no doubt. I just left it lie. I didn’t pick it up. He knows the guy I live with just because…there is probably only one guy who’s eclectic and sticks out at the Fresh Grocery Store. So you know: I had a rough 4/20. Kalen has the total plug on weed, and what happens? We run out of weed like moments after 4/20. He also told me he is going to stop buying weed, so essentially stop smoking. He has been acting in a strangely irritated manner as of late, and I would judge he is having both: some problems with people from his homeland, and some general growing pains with life. He has a pretty basic, but good job, and he is on the road to shallow success; but still success. I get how that can be lame, but it’s gotta be more than that. He has just been acting a fool as of late. He broke his pipe a while back, and now he just went total flat-out lameo on us for 4/20. Casey wasn’t bothered, but I was; a little. We didn’t even smoke a good joint today! Kalen is obviously having something upsetting him, but idk if I want to get into that with him. I’ll just write about it on my website…for my 4/20 post.

There is this group of people next to me getting really into the gambling machines here at Happy Donuts. Kinna wild. Idk if I would ever want to get that into gambling. So what’s my plan for tomorrow? Well Casey has the day off, so he is just going to wonder. I would like to find a job. I think I am…fed up. I hate that I smoke weed and then I am so mellow about everything. I am not happy with my living situation! Or my money situation! I should have been had a job by now. Idk. I am fucking up my second SF start. So I am going to work on that tomorrow; the getting a job thing. Hopefully send out like 5-10 emails, and maybe even walk into a place. I need to cut off my beard, definitely by Monday.

The lady gave me an extra donut. I was confused at first, but it is as I figured: kind of a damaged donut, plus it’s 4/20. I can not wait to start working and making some money in this city. Can. Not. Wait. But I have to wait. I think I have written that same phrase before. Recently, maybe. I am eating my third donut btw. Wow. Three ole fashion’s. You think I’ll live to see 97 years old? That would be a good age to view things from. It would be crazy if my G made it to 97. 2033. That is the year he will be 97. I will be 41. Think I will still be writing this blog? Honestly I hope so. I was wondering to myself today if I will ever want to, in my older years, go back and re-read my oldoldold posts, and I came to the conclusion that if I keptkeptkept writing, then I would have no interest in my old posts, or rereading any of my work in general. I have a seriously unhealthy fascination with donuts, that’s all I know. Omg I want to eat another one, but it’s like ughhh I am sickly full rn forreal. I’m actually not full…but I have consumed a lot of sugar, and I think it’s affecting my joy.

So my plan is to go back to Casey’s, pee, crash, wake up at probably…6 or 7 in the morning like usual, and then head over to USCH…maybe BSCR if I am feeling frisky, and get some coffee and a pastry and sit down and edit…all of my writing? All of it! and then move onto looking for work. After? Idk. Probably go meet up with Casey since I need him to get into the house. Okay. That’s it…the time is 21:36 in San Francisco and I am saying peace out. These cats to my right are still gambling on the machine but they haven’t won anything. Okay peacepeacepeace. H appy 420420420420 … .. .. .

Chris

4.17-4.19 Happy Donuts

I never do fucking anything. I am eating a giant apple fritter [I think it’s giant, idk the average size of an apple fritter] and drinking a huge coffee. Check And Mate. The time is 18:05 and I am writing to you from Happy Donuts in North Beach. What I should be doing is writing a proposal to get this job I read about on Craigslist. It’s a paid gig: being the ambassador for a weed company. I would reply to emails, and go to events. It’s totally up my alley, I should really apply. I need to build up the confidence to write that email…or something. Am I just lazy? It doesn’t have to be anything long, I should just get it over with. I’m gonna talk to Casey about it maybe tho, and get to it in the AM.

Some lady gave me “chocolate covered grapes” today as I was entering the Library. She was leaving. Normally I would never eat food from strangers…but I felt good vibes with this. The weirdest part about the whole thing is that what she gave me, they were definitely chocolate covered raisins. I really thought she was about to whip out a bag of fat-ass grapes with chocolate all over them and give it to me, and she pulled out some chocolate covered raisins, but it said ‘chocolate covered grapes’ on the container! I should have taken a photo, but I totally didn’t, and now I’ve thrown it away cuz I ate them all. It was a lot.

This apple fritter is a lot. Whoa. Sugar sugar sugar; it’s basically all I consume. I have just over two hours before Casey gets off work…what to do? what to do! I should be prepping for the future…instead I just do this. I am going to text my Dad real quick to see if he got my debit card. || I ate some of my fritter after I texted him, and still no answer. I called him a little bit ago too, but he didn’t answer and I don’t blame him because I really called out of nowhere. Okay! So! What I need to do is…some research. and take notes. and find a job and a regular place to chill with good, cheap scones and good internet. Happy Donuts…I don’t think there is internet here. I haven’t asked, but nothing of similarity shows up in the wifi options. OoOo my Dad texted me. My debit card arrived at his house! Wowza. He is going to mail it to me…or actually he is going to mail it to Casey. Cool. So I’ll get that in a couple of weeks or whatever, and I’ll be able to get direct deposit at my new job, wherever that new job is. I can’t believe I elected to leave Buena Vista park and come eat this apple fritter. I should have just stayed there all night, that was the move. I just want to lay down someplace warm. The wind was starting to come actually, that is why I left the park. The wind is going to be striking everywhere in the city. Ugh. I still have a long time before Casey gets off work. Today was a really unproductive day, and now I am literally all the way out of money. Cool. Okay…I should really sit here and edit and what not until Casey gets off in 2 hours, but I feel like I am going to do something much stupider like go smoke weed in a park somewhere. I am hungry. Nonono; I am stoned! I need to be prepping for that job and all that, but nah, I’ve just been in and out, in and out; not living right. I gotta figure it out. Idk what to do…but I think I am going to go chill in a park and think about life…I guess for 2 hours, as I wait for Casey. I really wish I had a girl to hang out with. I will have to figure that situation out and get a girl to kick it with…Peace!

* * *

My job search is not going well. Maybe I just don’t want a job lol. I want a job in one of those tech kitchens, that seems like the move. There are jobs available, but many of them are not what I would want to do long term. I want a job I can hold onto for a while, maybe get a raise…it would definitely become easy, you know?

I am writing to you from USCH, and dare I say…I am bored? I looked through all the ads on CL this morning, but nothing jumped out to me, and then I even reconsidered sending this email I was going to send out…so now I’m just chillin. and I’m almost out of weed. My G did borrow me some money, but idk when it will be in my acct. I also transferred some money over from my tdameritrade acct, so at least I won’t be a totally broke mf for the time being, but damn skippy! I need to find a job. There’s this Ice Cream place hiring, Salt and Straw, and they need a supervisor. I was thinking about applying there, just diving full on into it! From the beginning that would be my plan, to tackle that team and make it run smooth. I know the SF game, I can play that shit. Buttt nothing will be as easy or as good as working in a tech kitchen. 06:00-14:30? Those are the best possible hours I could ever ask for. I will have room for chillin, writing, and a second job if I want. It’s the most ace schedule I could ask for. Working 09:00-17:00? Well obviously that doesn’t sound appetizing by comparison. Casey is telling me to just bite what I got, but I like the prospects of a tech kitchen. I will find one…I will.

On my mind is that I should buy a scone. Damn scones! I could consider hitting the atm too. I am going to see if any of my tda money transferred over. Not yet. I’ve got $24, and my back hurts. My general plan is to go lay is Yerba Buena. I am texting my Dad now. OoOoOo and I feel the coffee. I also messaged Kalen and told him to remind me to tell him about the sweet idea I just had about living in an RV, later when he gets off work. I heard Oakland is actually making a place for people to park their RV’s permanently. Right now the whole bay is full of RV’s parked on the sides of roads everywhere! I’m picturing a situation where you can actually buy a plot at an RV lot, and then that piece of property would probably go up in value. You paid 10k, or maybe even 30k for a large spot, and you have to park an RV on it, and you have to obey some sort of lot code otherwise they kick you out. and I want there to be public toilets on the premises. Right in Oakland. Think this will be available? 30k is a lot of money…that’s 15k a piece if I split it with Kalen, and that would take us forever to save. We could try and get a loan…but would it go up in value? I think it would. I hope you could get one for 10k; a spot that is. Then buy a trailer for an additional 10k, and boom! You got yourself a home, for two people, split 10k each, and in the 2-3 years I would live there I would come out wayyyy on top. Way on top. If I worked 2 jobs…I guess I would have to consider the cost of the BART…it would be better to have something like that on this side, or down by the airport. Is it cheaper to bart to downtown from the airport, or Oakland? I really don’t know. The time is 09:59…I am being so non-productive, it’s not even funny [turns out, I think, the RV lot will be mostly for, like, real homeless people. I don’t see why the homeless people don’t just move to SLC tho.]

To get sconed, or to not get sconed, that is the question! I am also considering going to Bob’s and seeing what they have, but it’s all a farce; I shouldn’t be eating sugar. I am watching a video on IG from beatrixfosterscreates right now as I am typing. I had to look at the keys a little bit for that, but it’s just me having fun with my newly found skill of typing well without looking at the keys. Soo this girl Elena Velez, who is from Milwaukee but I am not sure I have ever met her, she might have even gone to my highschool though; Danae knew her from school, but I went to a different school than Danae. anyway. She styled GRIMES! Dude, wtf?!? I know right. I follow her on IG, not only because she is a beautiful girl from my hometown, but also because she is interesting. She went to Parsons School of Fashion in Paris, and then she got out and moved to NYC and just started doing her thing, and now GRIMES is wearing her fucking clothes. Damn. I am jealous I did not befriend her. She gonna be hella wealthy, and I believe her to be mighty interesting. I mean she is from Milwaukee, so how could she not be ill? Duh. I hope that’s what they say about me lol.

So I posted my HK doc, but I have not even opened up the one previous to this and begun to edit. Apparently I fucking hate editing, it takes me forever to get into. I gotta do it though! Just how I gotta get a job, I gotta keep up with editing. Do I really go to Yerba Buena and just chill? I should be going and getting hired! I am kind of playing it cool until 4/20. Oh! Tomorrow is my Moms birthday. Woohoo! I should probably call her. I am sure she’s doing alright, but I haven’t talked to her on the phone in a while, only thru text messaging. I feel like I am talking in circles. I need to talk about something new. What’s going to happen is, I am going to get a scone, refill my coffee, come back to this table, and…

* * *

So far I am having little luck with the finding a job. I sent out one email today. Woohoo. In front of me I have a large coffee and an apple fritter. I am so bad! I will learn…I hope. Or just survive a long time even with a bad diet lol. I am excited to be an old man…but I gotta make sure I’m set up by the time I get there!

After I left you before I took some notes on starting a t-shirt company with Kalen. I met up with him eventually, and we talked about a lot of the things. ASMR seems to be the way we are taking things. Cool. I am ready for that. I have passion for ASMR, and I would be happy to rep a company that sells ASMR related goods. Shirts. We’re gonna start with shirts.

I just ate a whole fucking fritter. Jesus Christ. Seriously. I can’t believe I am still living this life. I told myself I wasn’t going to get down with the sweets today, and I still ended up with a scone earlier, and a fritter now. Eh. I’m trying not to beat myself up about it. I got coffee and a fritter. I am thinking of ordering a second donut…but that’s just so extra. Yeah, one can live like that…but not as long, and the closer it gets to the end the more you’re gonna wish you had done things differently. I’m definitely about to order another donut…tbh I’m just glad I am leaving something behind [when I die]. I’m at 135ish blog posts on my site now, and I am damn proud of that. I remember when I used to sit around drinking alcohol, thinking about life and all that jazz, and now I am actually out here living it, and I am real life writing about my travels. I may not be making money off my writing, and I don’t think this blog will be the pinnacle of my work, but I am out here doing it, and I feel good af about that. Okay. Real life I’m addicted to donuts and I’m going to get another one. Oh wait. The guy went wayway back behind the counter. I am going to wait until he returns. What I first walk into a restaurant it’s fair game, I’ll bother anyone, but once I’ve been there sitting for a while I tend to act different and I am overly-polite about asking for service. Mmm idk where the dude is. Oh wait, I see him. This sure is a quiet donut shop, but I like how roomy it is. I like the donuts at Bob’s better, but I like the wide open spaces of this place forsure. They both have one outlet, ain’t that a level playing field?

I just bought two more fucking donuts, no lie. I bought a plain ole fashion, and a chocolate ole fashion. I am going to regret this very soon, like as soon as I am done eating them lol. I feel like I eat nothing but sugar in the city. Omg. What have I grown up to become!?! I’m a damn sugar monger! Anyway. I am waiting for Casey to get off work. He gets off at 20:00 today, which is in 2 minutes. I told him to meet me at Happy Donuts. I met him at work for the past two days, but I aint ready for that cold walk today.

Was it so long ago I wrote about opening a donut shop inside a hostel? I am pretty sure I dreamed that dream. It is a dead dream now. I could never own a donut shop, or I would do nothing but eat donuts all the time. It would be dreadful to my health. I remember back in the day I used to get sconed as fuckkkk at the Green Tortoise. It was bad…I know that. I would eat like 15 cookies; I was wilding. Boy oh boy, those were some good times though.

I think I am infatuated with selling t-shirts. I am coming up with loads of ideas, not just asmr ideas. There is this site, 6dollarshirts.com; if we were to start selling t-shirts I guess they would become competition, but for now I follow their ig to learn. I would like to sell quality $6 shirts. In fact, I believe if I knew how to sell a shirt for $6 and make a profit, I would be onto a really flexible and realistic business model. Idk how those folks make money with $6 shirts tho; idk where they get the shirts! It’s not witchcraft, but it also ain’t something I’m ready to start doing today. I feel like eating another donut…I should really quit while I’m…well I should just quit. I am going to pack it in and go meet Casey wherever he is, even though I am cold. I just wanted to settle in and write a little bit and, well, look at my ass! I drink a large coffee and eat the equivalent of 4 donuts! Shame on you Chris! Shame on you!

* * *

The time is 19:06 and I am writing to you from Happy Donuts in North Beach. I have a medium coffee and a maple glazed ole fashion in front of me. The donut is good, but I am still a little disappointed in myself for ordering it. I told myself I wasn’t going to eat any sugar today, and you know what? I made it to 19:04 lol. Today was a roller coaster of a day. I’d like to think I learned something, or gained anything in any sense from the day, but only time will tell that; I am improving my life, but it is quite slow.

Today is my Mom’s birthday, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM! I miss my mom, it has been quite some time since I have seen her. I saw her for a short amount of time when I was back in Wisconsin, but just a short time. Maybe when I am older we will spend time together like we once did. I have so many splitting thoughts in my head recently. Ugh. and I lack the patience to write them all down, that is the problem. I tell too much of the story. I need to just pick a story, and tell it; short and to the point. Today had some stories, but they are  small potatoes compared to the big picture. I left with Casey this morning, and we spent the whole day tromping around the city before we finally made it back about 30 minutes ago, and then I ate some peanuts for a little bit while he at his Zoro burrito, and then I hit the road. He is pretty drunk and ready to hit the hay, but I am not ready to crash right now. The time is 19:15 as we speak, and the fact is I am not ready for bed.

Omg I just finished that fucking donut. Uggo Fuggo bro, uggo fuggo, that’s all I gotta say about that. Maybe I’ll order a second lol. Right now I am thinking about smoking a bowl…and in fact it’s probably what I should do because later on I am going to do some editing, and that’s practically boring if I am stoned. I think it’s better to do it on the other end of being stoned, like the tail end of it. Ugh. Yeah. So much to tell. This…I want this to be the last HeartOfZeus post you guys…I sit here in Happy Donuts after having a mediocre day, and I have a million thoughts running through my head, the top of which is that I need to gather the patience to spell out everything that is on my mind, but I also feel like if I grasp on to something else, it will help me find that patience for continual story telling. Cue: Spark Twain.

The prospect of editing all my writing is…daunting, to say the least. I have to edit like 10 or 12 pages, which is the first bit from San Francisco, and then I should also edit and publish this…although idk how I am going to publish since this place has no internet. I’d have to go stand outside a Starbucks or something. I wonder if they turn their WiFi off at night, or if like, the homeless people can log on and use that shit all night. That would be the move. It’s cold in the financial district because the buildings funnel all the wind, but there are so many Starbucks, I could now understand why some people choose to sleep there. Seriously! People sleep outside in the FD, at least last year they did. London Breed…I think she has changed the city [for the better] a little bit. Casey pointed out that there are less homeless people, and I might agree with him. I mean I saw the cops wake 3 homeless people up that were sleeping on the Kearny steps the other day. WTF you guys, last year that shit never would have happened. I smoked weed on my work shifts outside on those steps for a long time, and I never saw the cops come and wake someone the fuck up. Never. Nevereverever. If you had told me that I was about to see the 5-0 wake up the homeless people sleeping on the Kearny steps, back when I was in Vietnam, I never would I have been able to believe you. Cops didn’t do shit about the homeless people last year. Like not shit. It was a joke. It’s going to take some getting used to; because with the cops playing harder on the homeless folk, I am closer to the fringe than I’ve ever been in this city!

Today I bought some new socks…soon I will need a new hoodie. I actually bought one last year in Chicago from a thrift store in Wicker Park, but I gave it to the guy who was running my first Airbnb in India because I didn’t need it. Honestly; you wanna know honest? I bought the new one because it was a cold day in Chicago and I needed it when I stupidly didn’t bring my leather coat. I didn’t want to wear the one I bought in Chi while I was in India, because it looked new af, and you know I have this old holey af hoodie, but I earned and built all these holes. I didn’t want to walk around in a brand new hoodie getting treated like a brand new hoodie cat [it was bright hunting-orange] when I have a perfectly good hoodie that gets me treated like the mf who built the hoodie. I mean it’s a Carhardt hoodie, I didn’t really craft it, but I have worn this thing a lot since my G bought it for me in like…2011? Let’s just say 2011, I could be totally off with that. I remember being in Fleet Farm and looking at the hoodies, and i remember picking this one out…it’s such a mess when the actual date was, but logically it must have been after I lived in River West. I feel like maybe I owned the hoodie during my time in River West…but probably not. I wonder if I should buy another donut. I am really not keeping on track with what I want to/am supposed to be writing.

I was going to tell you about my day, and how Casey bought two super veggie burritos from this place Gordo on 9th Ave, but then I got sidetracked. Well, now I have told you. He got drunk af again today. idkkkk. The more drunk he gets the less he gives a fuck about anything, and so as the day goes on it gets harder to continue kicking it with him. It’s so weird when he gets drunk; like, he turns kind of dysfunctional, but recently imo he has been turning into an asshole when he gets drunk…which is everyday. I mean…that’s bad right? The truth is I know Casey is an alcoholic, and Casey knows I am an alcoholic, but that doesn’t mean I can get thru to him. I watched him save up 7k, and then slowly blow all of it on cheap, shitty coke from some guy down on Mission and Four. It was…so sad. but you know what? Casey don’t give no fucks. He doesn’t give a fuckkk. He strung that habit well into when he couldn’t afford it, and he was getting a little bit fucked up at MAC’D. I mean sometimes he would get high af, don’t get me wrong, but then a lot of the time I would watch him stretch a little amount for quite a long time. It wasn’t fun to watch any of it, and so after I left the city he got off that shit, and then he started drinking right afterward! No good. That was how things went down.

Actually that’s what all my ‘lost’ writing is about. Last year I wrote like 150 pages of…rambling, and it’s split up into six document titled Bob’s Donuts 1-6. The lot of it I was about being blown out with Casey so eventually you will be able to read about that whole experience. I basically…forgot what I have written. I know how to access it, and eventually I need to edit it, but for now it just sits. It’s still not that old.

I just bought another donut. It is almost fully dark outside, and the time is 19:52 on 04/19/19. I sit in this city full of highly educated, tech industry people, and I feel myself very poor. I want more. But how bad do I really want it? It’s been one whole week that I have been back in SF, and I still don’t have a job, or even any real prospects of a job. I was going to go apply for this cashier position today, but I didn’t go in. I need to shave my beard off if I am going to work in food, forreal. The cashier position is 7-3 m-f in the fd, did I write about it already? Those are good prospect. and 17 an hour. Boom! What more could I ask for? I just show up sober every day and I’ll be making good money in no time. I kinna wish I had gone in today, but Monday might still be a good day. If they haven’t hired anyone, then it’ll always have been meant to be. Dig?

I could literally show up at 2 am tonight; I have the keys and Casey is just chillin back there. It’s good. but I probably won’t use this freedom too liberally, I’ll probably come back early. He has smashed burrito all over the inside of his bag and I fear it will bring The Roaches. Real thing. I can’t believe I wrote that. I kind of felt that writing about it could bring bad juju on the subject, but then I decided: fuck that, I do what I want.

I want so badly to grab life by the balls…and I know I don’t because I am always stoned. I used to get stoned and have a surge of energy, but now it’s like I can only do that every once and awhile. I gotta like, only smoke the second half of the day, you know? I want a full time job where I am getting paid well enough to save, and I want a smokin-hot girl friend who lets me fuck her in all sorts of crazy ways, and I know both of these are very obtainable in my position, and it’s disappointing I haven’t gone after their acquisition harder since I have been back in the city! For the first time in my life I feel like I have it in me to build my own empire, finally, and I am so excited to start! So it’s like…why don’t I have a job yet? I have been sitting and talking myself into “I only want a job at a tech kitchen,” yet at the same time I am not jumping on shaving my beard, which I really should be. I am hoping to meet some girl at Dolores Park tomorrow and have her shave my beard. That’s what I want. Oh yeah; that’s what I want. I was just daydreaming about it. Could go totally swell man. Maybe she’ll plug me on a job too. Do I want to work in North Beach? Wow. I should have gone in for that cashiering job at the sandwich place in the Galleria. I need to go in on Monday. Just like…taking orders on a touch screen all day and dealing with money? Sounds like the most boring thing in the world, but I promise I would be phenomenal at it. I am really adamant about getting a job in the morning and then not smoking weed before I go to work. Even though I am Spark Twain, I still want to hold a job where I don’t smoke weed all the time. Kalen is doing it and he is living a pretty good life. If I start trying to work some cashiering job in the fd all stoned everyday, that’s just going to end ugly. I’ll be spending more money on weed, first all, and second I’ll be tired af all the time and I just won’t be having a good time. If I get a job where I’m the customer service captain/cashier at a sandwich shop in tech part of the city? and I don’t smoke weed everyday until I’m out of work and I get paid and use my checks to pay rent in the city and invest in things that will help make me more money on the side; and I keep this up for a year or two, probably while getting promotions at my job even though the hours will never change because they close at 15:30? Smooth-fucking-move that would be! I’m on seven pages here…there is no way I am about to edit all that work tonight. Am I? I really should. I should stay out until midnight if that’s what it takes, duh! Get some new content on my blog for 4/20?!? Nobody except for Kalen really reads it, but I still feel good about it all. Hmm. and I said earlier in this article, like within the last hour lol, that I was done with HOZ and I was moving onto ST. Idk if that is going to remain true. It would be a good motivator, because I need some money rolling in to fuck with expanding on ST, but that is certainly not my number one reason for getting money and I don’t think it is going to rock the boat enough to really make me motivated; and so it’s not worth me entertaining the idea just to fail, or expending the extra resources implementing the change at this stage, because like I said: no one is really reading this and I don’t think that is about to change just because I change formats over to ST; although I think the format change will overtime help build a stronger, more memorable personal-writing-brand. PWB I guess.

I am so fucked up over girls, man. There were just these two spry looking birds in Happy Donuts, and one of them was thicc, I mean like thiccaf and they came into the shop while I was editing before, but then I went outside to smoke a bowl, and while I was out there they left the donut shop, but they kind of bobbed around outside for a bit and I knew I could go talk to them; of course my ego has me thinking they were bobbing around waiting for me to talk to them specifically. My ego thinks things like that a lot, it’s probably not true, I realize as I get older and use logic more and more. So I came back in and wanted to edit, but I just couldn’t/can’t get the one girl out of my head. She was wearing skin tight black jeans, and a black hoodie. Punk rocker, and looked a little in the face like the girl from Cambridge who was going for astrophysics at university of someotherlesser city. I’m not saying this girl looked a lot like her, just a little bit, but it made me think that maybe she’s actually a nerd disguised as a punk rocker. Idk. It doesn’t matter. She’s gone, with her ass and all that, and I am stuck here with my computer and I am supposed to be editing some of my past work, but I got horny and distracted and have wound up writing instead of editing…as usual. I am not worried though. I write…a lot. I do. I know that I produce a lot of writing. I re-read all of it at least once when I give it the final edit, and then it goes to my website, and much of that stuff I haven’t read since I posted it. It’s getting to the point where I am starting to wonder what to do with all the writing. Can I sell it in anyhow? Write an epic using all the different articles, the new story being an expedited version of the Heart Of Zeus story? I could do that. Ugh. So much work. It’s all so much work. My current plan is to switch over to the Spark Twain platform and start writing more humorous stories, mostly about San Francisco but I could write stories about anywhere. Then I will make people want to read the stories because they are funny, interesting, and informative, as they will be pseudo-fiction. Real SF; embellished stories.

Ugh. I don’t feel like fucking editingggg. I guess it’s my job. Writing has become the easy part, where as editing is the really dreadful task. I can writeandwriteandwrite forever, and the fact is that I want to edit all the work I produce. If I let someone else go over it, they might not do what I would want done for the editing, and in the end they could fuck it all up. I could never read, or even look at the final product; ever, but that doesn’t seem like a good way to build a personal brand.

The time is 21:14 in North Beach and I am still at the donut shop. I am starting to think I should head back to Casey’s, idk. I could edit in the morning, make it my sole task, and then go to the park later. I guess I don’t wanna be all smoked out before 4:20. I mostly celebrate the day, but so many people celebrate the time too it’s hard to avoid. When it’s not 4/20 I smoke at 16:20 if I notice it, or if I can. But when it is 4/20, I just smoke and smoke and don’t worry about the time of day or anything like that. Dig? Okay…I am going to wrap this up, power through editing as much of my other work as I can, and then go hit the hay at Casey’s and wake up on 4/20 and get baked all day and meet some cute girls. Peace!

Spark Twain

Four-Twenty

It’s 4/20 bitches. Gettchasmokeon. That’s what imma do. Casey, Kalen, and myself, we’re going up to Delores Park for 16:20 today. Gonna be lit. Be there, or forever hold your squareness.

Spark Twain

A Triumphant Return To North Beach! 04/13/19-04/17/19

San Francisco, I have returned! The clock on my computer is telling me the right time again! Woohoo! It’s 04:03, and I am writing to you from the 24 hour donut shop in North Beach, and there are a good amount of people in here right now; granted it’s Saturday. I arrived here at 10 yesterday morning, and I met Casey at the airport. We smoked a bowl out front and left on the BART by 11. By the time I dropped my bags off at his house, it was an hour before my flight would depart from China. I traveled back in time! I left Hong Kong at 13:10 on Friday, and arrived in San Francisco at 10:00 the same day. I had always heard people talk about experiencing that time-travel phenomenon during travel, but to have gone through it myself, well, now I feel like a real traveler lol.

My computer says it’s going to die in 53 minutes, which is actually an improvement over when I opened it and it said 28 minutes, but I turned the brightness down and was able to save some life. So I arrived, met up with Casey and we hoofed it around, and then at 14:30 we met up with Kalen at the Cal Train Station. Let me say first of all, that Casey is on a stampede of trouble and I just don’t. know. why. He is always trying to get me to do something outlandish, like smoke weed in the Cal Train station for no reason. It feels rude to smoke in there because it’s kind of an enclosed area. He is always talking about how the city leads the world and shit like that, and five seconds later he’s darting into traffic because he’s on a “take the streets back” movement. Apparently cars create 90% of the air pollution in the city, and he thinks there should be no more cars in SF, only public transit. This is an interesting theory. I am not yet sure what I think of it yet. I do like the idea of a San Francisco with no personal cars. Only Uber, Lyft, Muni, Bart, Cable Cars, bikes, and walking. I dig that. Especially if the public transit was really free. I only treat it like it’s free right now.

So one thing that is different about the city since five months ago is the amount of homeless people. There are way less homeless people blocking the sidewalks in the middle of the day and shit. I haven’t yet determined how I feel about the situation. It seems to be different at night. There are still  some homeless folks walking around. In fact, one just came into the donut shop from the south, and left to the north. She has been chilling outside for a while too. I just finished my maple ole fashion. Good way to start the rest of my life, huh? I know. I also have 2 joints rolled, and I suppose I am going to smoke one in…1 minute because it’s 04:20. Bingo. Then? Idk. The plan is to kill time until USCH opens at 6am. I kinna wish I brought my book, but I didn’t. Oh! I nearly forgot to mention the reason I am up at 04:20 is because of jet lag. Casey was all drunk anyway, and I had to follow him home because there is only the one key, but it worked out because I was tired and so I fell asleep at like 3 or 4 in the afternoon, and I woke up at midnight lol. I then found Casey’s keys and went and smoked 2 bowls by The Saloon, came back, laid around for a while before deciding sleep was fruitless and so…I came to the donut shop. The plan is to chill here until I go to USCH, and then I need to do my taxes, and figure out my banking situation, and of course find a job. By mid-week I should be working. Okay. My computer is telling me it’s going to die, and I believe it. I have a lot of fucking time to kill, and I missed 04:20 now. Oh well. I am going to go smoke a J and then…idk. Mope about? lol. It’s going to be a long ass day, but I will have fixed my jetlag by the end of it. Casey busted out these sleeping mats too, so my living situation is looking pretty good now. Comfy at least. So I smoke and then…maybe I just walk and listen to music? I am home! I am free! and this is the first day of the rest of my life, and I feel good about it. I am glad I left the house to write tonight, even if it results in my being hella tired later. Okay. Peace from North Beach!

*             *             *

Guess where the fuck I’m at? Union Street Coffee House, that’s right. I am waiting on a bean burrito; nvm the burrito just pulled up. I already consumed a shit load this morning, cuz I ate that donut at the shop earlier which I wrote about, but then I also ended up eating a fucking muffin while I was there! Eventually, at like 05:20, I messaged Casey because I knew he had to work at 6, and we met up and smoked half a joint. I then walked from North Beach to Cow Hollow, where I am now, writing to you at 07:14 in the morning. I am going to eat my burrito.

I have been giving some thought to starting a San Francisco vlog. I mean there is a ton of content about sf available online, but idk if there is any in-depth and intimate content available. I mean we could go through and try every restaurant in the city, and shit like that; that sounds really fun. I was walking over here, Union all the way from Columbus I walked, and I was wondering if I should make one of my life goals to own a piece of property in San Francisco. I have avoided clinging to that since it first cropped into my head. If you are unaware, let me explain: I have a goal set in my life. I believe since I stopped drinking alcohol I can “make a million dollars,” right? but I decided I need a more regimented goal for the long term, and I have decided upon “I want to own four pieces of property by the time I die.” This is my ultimate bucket list goal. I  believe I can accomplish this goal because I can accomplish anything, and I believe I can accomplish anything because I quit drinking, and in tandem to that I am always board. Buying a house in San Francisco…I would view as a  bonus. If I own four pieces of property and still have enough fight left in me to fill up on more real estate, I will come to San Francisco, that’s kind of what’s going on in the back of my head. All that being said, I still want to dedicate myself to the city for some time, and let’s say I stay here for two years making money, a blog specifically about San Francisco would certainly have time to grow and mature, and even come full circle ideally to the point where moving on from the vlog would feel right. Yeah… I gotta get Kalen in on this. Kalen and myself and sometimes Casey [when he’s not being too crazy] would be a deadly combo for broadcasting. We aren’t exactly in the ballpark for what the new wave of tech earners in SF would be into, but we are certainly in line with what the locals and the tourists would consume. You don’t have to like your market, but you do have to know it.

I look around me; I see this lady on a laptop a few tables over working on something, and it could possibly be a resume. Reminds me I need to work on my resume. I should really be doing that instead of writing this, but hey! I yam what eye yam; a lazy mother fucker. I don’t feel any type of way about it, a job will come to me. I know there is a place in the city for me; I know it! Kalen works 6 am to 2:30 pm. I need to get a schedule like that. If I want I can get an additional part time gig, but what’s better is that I will have time to work on some side projects & hustles. The move to end all moves. I think it’s printing T-shirts, at least right now, and at least for me. I think we should do the same thing as this company called 6 dollar shirts does. I follow them on IG, but maybe we should do our sf thing with it. We could just print SF, and maybe other West Coast shirts…or anything. If we had the ability to sell shirts for $6 I believe we would muster the gumption to coerce an ample amount of customers into our online store, and in a few short years we would be living totally different lives; Kalen and myself. Shirts man! For me; right now, that’s where it’s at. I think I always knew…somehow I would end up in the t-shirt business. It’s not industrial, but it is a little more blue collar then I was hoping for with my life [even though life has just begun, and this is by no means how I will be defined], but I feel real good about it, and so I am going to move forward. Plus, we’re not an apparel company, we’re a technology company. Bitches.

It’s not even that cold, but my hands feel, like, frozen. It’s hella lame. I also realize I am quite bored. I am going to need to find a place to rest my head, I know that forsure. Also what I know, is that I have 2 weeks at Casey’s house, and then things might switch up. Two weeks in a long time. If I wasn’t working in two weeks…there would be a problem. Even today though…here I sit: stoned, and kinna full of food, while also thinking about eating more food. I’m sitting around thinking my brain hot, more than I am writing; and I am writing more than working on my CV! Not the move. What am I really trying to accomplish in life? It wouldn’t seem my goals align with my actions, and I told myself when I got back to SF that would all change, and I would maintain discipline and self-control and get right on the road to riches. Hmm. Easier said than done I suppose. Even so…I need to maintain my discipline, and so I will do many little, and easy things, instead of taking on huge tasks like I used to. For instance, I should just bust out that CV quick this morning, because it would be a quick and easy move for me. Yeah. Okay. So I do that…and then idk. There is a parade today, but that’s all that I know. Really, I would like to lay in bed and have a nap lol, but there is no place for me to do that, and even if I could get into Casey’s right now the idea of napping on his floor isn’t exactly what my dreams of napping in a big, soft, warm bed would be fulfilled by.

*             *             *

I am writing to you from Casey’s room. I feel a little loopy, partially because I am sick, and partially because I have been up so long. He is eating a sandwich, and I am eating a muffin. These are the good days. Tomorrow I have to get my taxes done, and then the next day I have to find a job. I feel good about it. I spent the day chillin with Kalen. We went to Delores Park, and then took a walk all the way to 21st and Potrero. We talked a lot about starting a blog. I am pretty excited by the prospect. We talked about how we’re gonna have to figure out how to edit some video. I am also aware I will need a set schedule to help me accomplish more. Today was kind of a fail, not going to lie. Smoked a lot of weed and ate a lot of sugary treats. Not the move, but the day is done. The time is 17:56 and I am chilling with Casey trying to stay awake as late as possible. I think he might go to sleep at like 7 [19:00] or something. My stomach still hurts, and now my throat hurts from that plane ride, and I am just so excited for all that to pass. Damn, I am tired though. If I fell asleep now I bet I would wake up at 2 in the morning. No good. Gotta try to avoid that. Ugh. My stomach. I should, and will probably go drop a deuce soon. Omg tho I am tired. I could fall asleep no problem right now. No good. I should wait at least two hours if not more to fall asleep. Idk if I can do it. So comfy…

*             *             *

Do I write enough? I read a quote from Jack: “I knew if I wanted to be a writer, I needed to write. A lot.” I have no idea how close that is to the actual quote, it’s just my summary of it, but now you can quote me on that shit, because I know if I want to turn writing into a profitable venture…I need to write a lot. Making money with writing isn’t the ultimate goal, but I would like my blog to sustain itself. I doubt I’ll find tradework for my writing lol. Although, I am right across the street from the Zoetrope Building, and I have long thought about contacting them and seeing if they [Francis Ford Copella, I guess] would let me stay there while I write my first book. Alas, I don’t know if they would believe me that I would finish the book [do I believe me?], and further than that the idea of writing a book has within recent months slipped from my grasp. Now that I am sitting here writing to you it seems like the obvious thing to do. This lady just walked past me and I was looking at her while I was typing. It was kind of a funny thing. Whoa. I can just do that over and over again. Look people in the eyes while I am writing this shit. Whoa. I can get down with that. Dude! I did it again! People wave at me and shit. Hmm. Awesome. It’s hard for me to nod my head back at people while I am typing…but if I practice I will probably get good at this. Maybe I’ll become, like, an sf staple: the guy who is always writing at the window of happy donuts and he’ll look at you while he is writing if you walk past. I suppose ppl’s goal would be to try and shock me into a state where I mess up my writing. That sounds like a fun time. Damn a foxy girl with a skateboard just walked past. I wasn’t typing at the time, but I looked at her ass anyway. I am going to look right at women’s asses while I am writing as they walk past this window…and that’s my pickup line. fwm.

I am using my Laos scarf tonight. I was using it as a blanket last night and I realized that it is cold enough in this city to justify busting it out as a scarf, which is really the reason I bought it in the first place. So tonight I sport the longgg red and black scarf, handmade in Laos by some lady I saw in a picture at this coffee shop. I am on my third muffin since I entered the city. That is just disgusting. I am seriously disappointed in myself for the way I am living right now, but I feel the change coming and so I am just going to let it play out. I am thinking about smoking some more of my joint before I finish my muffin. I also have a Gatorade with me, but no water. I bought a gallon and of course I aint brining that with me. I left it at Casey’s.

I have been thinking a lot about girls since I returned to the city, can’t even lie about it. I am going to need to find somebody to fuck, probably on the regular. It is going to be someone I have never met before, I have decided that firmly. Unless it was the girl who bakes the donuts at Bob’s donuts. I would consider hanging out with her, even though I kind of already know her. I actually don’t know her. I’ve only ever talked to her one time. I had seen her in there, and I was obviously attracted to her, and so the next night after I got off work from MAC’D I came over to Bob’s and she was outside smoking at 3am and so I stood and talked to her. Later that night she stuck around after work, and even sat by me, presumably because I was supposed to keep talking to her, but I chickened out! Because I had a girlfriend, you know? and on top of that I lived with my gf, and idk, my intention certainly would have been to take this women back to her house and court her, and so I just felt like continuing the conversation was futile; I never did. I think everyone at Bob’s thinks I am weird, because I followed some of them on IG, including the girl, and not all of them followed me back, including the girl lol. So I kept coming in there for a long time, and I even wrote about that girl a bunch in my unpublished writings,  but I think she thinks I am weird; and I think she’d think it was really weird if I started trying to hit on her now, so late into the game. All things considered, I might talk to her anyway, because I can sum up the whole situation with: “I used to have a gf,” and if that isn’t a good topic of conversation than I might not be interested in talking! Honestly I need to find me a women who is down to support my ass; like that one guy supported all the beatniks. Idk who is was. The time is 11:20 in San Francisco, and I am going to go out front of Happy Donuts and smoke some more of my J. The guy just came out with a hoolahoop asking “anyone want this? I’m going to throw it away.” I missed San Francisco.

So the San Francisco blog feels like a real possibility. It’s actually only a vlog, because I only intend to fuck with video. I already write about San Francisco in my own strange way, so this is something different. and with it comes a specific revenue stream, because I [we?] and going to be focusing on YouTube specifically, and therefore YouTube ads are going to be where our revenue comes from. If we find a second revenue stream through sponsors, that would be ill, but it’s nice to even have certainty about the first one. When it comes to selling t-shirts Kalen and I are on slightly different pages, because he thinks it would be better to sell shirts in person, and I think online. I want to do online because then I am making money while I sleep. I could, of course, do both [sell p2p and online], but if I was in the city would I be selling shirts to tourists, or locals ? Hopefully both. I need to blow my nose, a lot…it’s totally lame. Not only do I use a lot of paper, and make a lot of noise, but I am getting a raw nose and it means I’m fucking sick. I don’t wanna be fucking sick! Kalen thinks it’ll be like when I arrived in India, and that sickness, ugh! oml I felt like it lasted two weeks. I don’t think I’m about to be sick for two weeks. I am already tuning into the city vibes. I climbed more hills today than in the last 4.5 months, and I am hella happy about that. [I climbed one huge hill in Laos, It was a big one though, and steep.]

You know what the move is going to be for me? Spark Twain. I can’t believe I am saying that. It was like, instantaneous! Casey loved it, and Kalen told me it might “even be more catchy that Heart Of Zeus.” Of course it’s more catchy than heartofzeus! Ha. I realized that right away. I guess when I look at the name, or say the name, I am worried I can’t fill the shoes it implicates. I mean if you’re going to call yourself Spark Twain, you better come with the heat!know mean? I actually want to spend more time at the library. Kalen was telling me how he just chilled out at the library for a month, and I remember him messaging me during that time. He would send me pictures of the food he pulled off trash cans, and the books he was reading through, which were often quite old and classic works. Sometimes text books. Ha. I remember those days now. I don’t know if I appreciated it as much as I should have. I could have been living the sf life vicariously through him; he was setting it up on a T for my ass! Now I get it though. He just lived in his car for a month when he pulled back into the city, and he did it through the freegan diet, and living most of his days at the library. I could live that life, and while I was living it I could brush up on my Mark Twain reading. I can’t go without a job though, that’s just real life shit. My lame ass can’t even keep up the freegan diet. There was a piece of chocolate cake on top of one trash can, and a handful of frenchfries atop another, and I missed out on both of those things. I felt kind of dumb about it later, even though it’s just eating off trashcans. Idk. Maybe I’ll just get into the freegan life for a little bit lol. Sometimes it’s hella good. I remember some of the things Kalen would eat back in the day lol. He still talks about the cheesecake; I remember the cheesecake. He was pulling something out of the trash to eat, and like usual I was like ‘whatever,’ but then he showed me this piece of cheesecake he had just scooped out of the bin and I absolutely had to try it. That was my first freegan bite, and I have been curving the diet since. That was last year, end of summer maybe. Freegan isn’t a bad way to live though, and it’s really only available in San Francisco, that I have seen. A little bit in Seattle maybe. The homeless there are a little crazy sometimes, and there are a lot of them. Definitely some freegan in Seattle. This turned into a long ass paragraph.

I never noticed there is guitar playing in the background at the end of Nikes by Frank Ocean. It’s only in the left ear, and it goes on for quite some time. At first I thought I was hearing something, but naw: it’s the song. Good shit. I wonder if Frank Ocean plays guitar. I have no idea. It’s 23:58. I need to do so much! Shower, brush my teeth [I didn’t do this task from 4/12-4/19, real talk I need a girl to kick my ass into gear with that shit], and do my taxes. Kalen keeps talking about how after I know how much I am getting back from taxes, things will be different. Cool. I suppose it’s true, and I am excited for that. So in the morning I am going to wake, and then I am going to head to a cafe and do my damn taxes. Right? Idk. Kalen is also telling me I shouldn’t worry about doing my taxes on public WiFi because no one is going to give a fuck about a couple thousand bucks. I pretty much agree with him. It still feels weird to do taxes over a public wifi though. I suppose you also have to worry about your information getting stolen and sold; that is a real fear too. Still, I don’t think anyone wants my Identity. I don’t think.

I am considering ordering another pastry. I pretty much already know I am going to do it. I need to get off this shit. Monday. Monday I kick in a new regime; a new more healthy lifestyle. Obviously it might cost money ,and that means I need to find a job, probably a job that includes food. Pinterest sounds like the spot. I wonder if they’re hiring lol. So it’s midnight on a Saturday and I just woke the fuck up lol. My shit if off kilter. Plus I am eating all this food and spending all this stupid money. I’ll get there. Monday. Sugar is probably the number one thing I need to chop off my diet. I consume a lot of sugar. That’s a pretty new thing for humans.

Some lady just came up to me while I was ordering a donut and offered to buy me food. She walked up to me and said “you want some food? I’ll buy you anything you want.” I laughed and said “No I’m good, thank you though, I appreciate it.” I should have just said fucking yes. Damn. That would have been the move! Idk. I feel so weird accepting free food from people. Kalen is going to give me hella shit when I tell him this story. It’s good to know I look homeless though. I can seriously get behind that. Next time I am just going to say yes. No matter where I am. I think that would be the move. First of all, I would have gotten something more healthy than a donut without any stretch of the imagination. I could be eating a sandwich right now! It would have been lit! I’d have a double turkey or tuna coming on the way…omg you guys what was I thinking! Am I shameful? I don’t feel that way. The truth is if someone wants to buy me food I am hella down with that. I could walk back up to her right now and she would still buy me food, I am pretty sure of that. Damn. It’s not often people ask to buy me dinner in San Francisco lol. It must be the beard.

So Monday. That means tomorrow I need to at least do my taxes and shower and whatnot. Casey works at 10 I think, and Kalen has the day off. What were we talking about doing? Oh, he said he’s doing his laundry. I might come up to his side of town and check his crib out, Kalen. He lives on 36th, and if he walks outside he can catch the 5 right there. What a move. Walk outside and catch the 5 bus. It comes down to the fact…do I want to live with Casey? He is mighty weird. I don’t think I’d want to fork over $600 unless I also had a key to the place. Damn these donut are sweet as shit. Maple ole  fashioned now. I know, I know. But I just quit smoking cigarettes again, give me some time lol. Man I can’t get over that sandwich. I could be having a sandwich right the fuck now. I could have saved it for breakfast or whatever I wanted. Damn damn damn. I am not living that freegan life. Will I ever have money again? That is the real question. What if I am just not trying hard enough? If I looked the part would people offer to buy me food all the time? I would get good at accepting it. I was really craving that Jewish Delicatessen today…I can’t remember the name of it. I keep wanting to call it Jakes deli, but I am pretty sure Jake’s is a place on North Ave in Milwaukee lol. Omg I am almost done with the donut. Lame sauce. The time is 00:27. What time am I going to stay out until? I will eventually have to go in, and I suppose I don’t mind waiting if I am not tired yet…and I am not tired yet. If I sleep from like 3 to 9, I think that would put me pretty on point for fixing my jetlag. Damn! Jetlag is so real, and it’s just a wild piece of the modern day lol. It’s rare to experience jetlag also. Kiwi says only 5% of the human population has traveled by plane. No one believes me when I quote that though.

Plenty ass rolling by this window right now…and I am feeling like putting in the for night. I know I was just talking about going to sleep at 3, but I got a stuffed up nose and I don’t really feel that great, plus I just ate all those sweets. I have half a muffin and some bread at Casey’s too. Mmm; lol. I will probably eat the bread in the morning. Probably go and meet up with Kalen again. I don’t have any drive right now, but when I find it! I want to get down to filming. Okay. I think I am going to call it for the night. I will probably write in the morning though? Oh shit, and do my taxes. Okay. Peace!

*             *             *

It’s April 14th. That means it’s 414 day! and actually tomorrow would be 415 day. Ha. It’s weird that Milwaukee and San Francisco have area codes that are right in order like that. Okay I was just busting out my writing until I got my food. Now I am going to do my taxes quick. The time is 10:37 and I am at Quetzal Cafe in San Francisco.
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Okay! The time is now 11:27 and my taxes are filed as a bitch. I have over $1200 coming my way, and that’s after I paid like $400 in fines for not having health insurance [turns out I could have avoided that, I am so upset]. Cool. Next up? Idk. Casey can’t find my chillum, and real talk I would like to have a pipe so I can be smoking, but damn. It’s gonna be a real hit to the wallet if I go buy some glass right now. Okay. I am going to post an IG post I think right now. Eh. Maybe I’ll wait until tomorrow. Monday is my favorite day of the week, and I’d rather make an appearance on Monday than on Sunday, forsure. I am up in the air about maybe going and borrowing some money from my G. I bet if I call him he would give me the plug. I’m not 100% sure about this, but I have a feeling he would help me out. I don’t quite know what I want. A hundred bucks? I’ve run through like $60 since I’ve come back, and that’s just super extra. I should be living that freegan diet and saving hella doe…tomorrow. I change tomorrow lol.

I think I am really gonna buy a pipe you guys! I don’t feel like I have much choice lol. I am not about to roll a joint. I could maybe roll 1 joint, but really I need to be more conservative with my weed, forreal. If I get a chillum it’ll save me money in the long run. Okay. So I am going to go do that…probably now? And then I gotta settle in somewhere and do my CV…I should probably just do my CV right now. All I gotta do is edit it a little and probably add in MAC’D, then I’m good to go. In fact, I might have one ready to go from when I was applying to teach English in Spain. Boom! Resume was already prepared, not just because of the TEFL jobs, but also because I prepared an application for working at the Adelaide Hostel [they emailed me back and told me they are overstaffed for the foreseeable future]. The time is now 11:49 in San Francisco and I don’t know what the move is. I really think I am about to walk and buy a pipe…but I am going to be broke as a dbl-joke then, seriously. I’ll have like $20 or less. No good. I can pull $20 out of the ATM also, but then that’s all I’ve got! I gotta sell some stocks and close my bank account. Probably pull an additional $130 bucks out from that, but then I am really really out of money. Hmm. Well. I am going to cut with the writing and go figure my life out. Might just end up in a donut shop talking to you soooon. Peaceeeeee.

*             *             *

I’m eating another muffin. I officially have fucked this writing thing up. I have like 200 pages of writing to publish, some from last year, and more recently a 20 page article from Saigon, and now this! Eight pages. I need to do something about this. Maintain my diligence? That’s probably the thing. Same with everything, really. I keep saying Monday…we shall see what really happens Monday. I am at Happy Donuts charging my phone, and I might text Casey and ask him to get me some bread. He usually doesn’t look at his phone though.

The morning I will be refreshed! Jetlag gone, and Monday in full effect, I will go to…Union Street Coffee House, and get a scone and an espresso and work on finding a job. Maybe I will get coffee, it goes further. I feel like I’m going to end up at a restaurant job with a shaved beard lol. Or maybe a tech kitchen. That’s what Kalen does and it’s totally the move. He works at the Pinterest kitchen. I totally just got another muffin, and a coffee. I am living the dream right now, but it’ll have to stop. I’m like Casey in that way; when I want something; I want it, and I know when I no longer want it, I will shake it, and I know that day will always come.

Casey is off of work. I wonder what the plan will be now. I am full of muffin. af. Probably not the best way to stay up late and shake off jet lag, eating a muffin. I have this coffee though. It was self serve, and so I mixed all the coffee’s together. I am now sitting here thinking of all the jobs I could apply for. I could work at a concert venue. Or a restaurant. Or a head-shop. Book store? I could apply at Best Buy, or Auto Zone, both of which are places I’ve worked before. I could work at a hotel, or a hostel. The one place I can’t see myself working: a coffee shop. Unless it’s like, working on my computer and writing my blog, you know? I finished my second muffin now. I’m already thinking about my third lol. No gooood. These things are just full of sugar, I can feel it. Plus if I eat all this food I’m going to want to fall asleep. Maybe I can just go fall asleep on Casey’s floor right now, but maybe not, plus it’s kind of uncomfortable. If I move into his spot I need to get a bed or a couch.

*             *             *

I’m doomed af. I am writing to you from USCH and the time is 10:39. I woke up at 02:00, and then I just layed around until 06:30 when Casey and I left the crib and headed out to wonder. We made it pretty damn far meandering today. We walked in a big circle around soma, and then took the 10 for a couple of minutes, only to walk some more and go take a look at the new Warriors arena. It looks nice. From a distance it kind of looks like a spaceship. We sat and smoked a little bit watching the city workers cut grass. Eventually I convinced Casey to get on the 22 with me, and we rode that for a while. My phone was dead, but I had my headphone splitter so I plugged into what Casey had booming, and boyohboy, was it booming. Seriously, too loud to handle. I just draped the headphones over my ears and went to sleep. Casey got off at Geary, and I rode all the way until Union street. It was a long ride, and I am glad I got a nap in on the way. When I arrived I bought a coffee and sat down. I opened Craiglist and began to look for jobs. Not a whole lot of stuff on the web, and a lot of it far away. I want something close by and in the city. This is how I deemed that: I am fucked, and Casey is right; I am going to have to print off some resume’s and just walk around the old fashioned way. It’s going to be a long day today. Usually we’ve been going to bed at like 6pm, and today Casey works until 8:30, so I’ll be tired as hell by the time he is off work. I am jetlagged! Remember? I thought I was over it, but then I woke up at fucking midnight last night and it’s been a wrap since.

The guy next to me keeps clearing his throat. Makes me wonder if he has throat cancer. I mean it’s a lot. Five times a minutes at least, if not more. It’s a constant motion. MMMMthinking about buying a scone. I bought a coffee, and I was thinking I’d get a scone when I refilled my coffee, and it’s like…am I really gonna refill my coffee? That’s a heavy move. Okay tho, so I gotta get on this finding a job thing. Idk what my move is going to be, but I gotta bust some kind of move. I wish I could make money sitting here and writing. Interestingly enough about that, I have made a decision. Did I already write about it? I am going to switch over to the Spark Twain platform. I write comedy, and I smoke weed, that’s what I do. I am thinking about switching this blog over to that name, and continuing it under that name. What do you think? I think it would be a big move, but it might be doable. Iit might be profitable. I can write about all sorts of stuff on sparktwain.com, which isn’t even a real site yet. and see this all depends on if I can get some money rolling in [to pay for hosting and whatnot], but instead of questing for a job I am sitting here writing this! Kalen is at work, Casey is on his way to work, and here I sit. I am stuck, but I need to get unstuck. I am going to have to cut my beard and walk into some restaurants, end of story. Okay. I’m gonna refill my coffee and grab a scone. I’m so addicted to sugar yall…it’s all I think about.

There was no blueberry, I had to get the lowfat berry peach scone. No problem, I don’t mind these guys [low-fat berry peace scones]. What’s the big story i, I only have $12 left in my wallet, and I had $100 two days ago. Way to live frugal, Chris! I suck at being broke, which is odd because it’s all I’ve ever been. I am going to sell some stocks, and move some money, and backup some photos on my phone right now…I feel like I smell like poop, but idk. Maybe it’s my shoe? I hope it’s in my head lol, but it’s forsure not. Sometimes in SF it just smells like poop, lowkey.

Okay, stocks are sold! Now…I need to find a job lol. It’s kind of a wrap on walking around [to look for jobs] today since I am in sweatpants, but that’s okay. I need to spend some time to edit all my writing anyhow. Maybe make a date with the library. I actually have plenty of time today, Kalen doesn’t get off work until 14:30, and if I leave here where am I going to go? I finished my scone too tho…and I am already thinking about scone number two. It’s no good. I am weak! I am supposed to have discipline and be fighting my way to the top! but instead I smoke weed and get sconed, a lot. Eh. These are the days of our lives, and this is the situation I’m in. If I am not getting a job, I need to at least be doing something…so I am writing, but I should really be editing. Maybe I don’t like the dream life as much as I thought. I mean don’t get me wrong! I love it. The ‘coming to cafe’s to do work’ thing is great, and I totally get down with it, but idkkk, if I was loving it wouldn’t that mean I just jump right into working? No problems with the editing, I would always get it done. Instead I am running into problems. I should forreal, no excuses, finish editing my articles from Saigon.

No joke, oml fam I have sunburn on my nose right now. No way is the sun more intense in San Francisco than in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam…I hope it’s not something else wrong with my nose. Maybe it’s dry? It’s hella dry here, that’s one thing that I am not down with, but I live and deal with it. I am thinking about going outside and smoking a bowl. Head out, smoke a bowl, then come back in and edit? Sounds boring. First of all, I have some sleepy time weed. This stuff that Kalen got totally just puts me right to sleep. I was smoking a lot in Vietnam, but it was always the food and never the weed that really put me to sleep, but as soon as I got back and started smoking on this stuff, I remembered this strong ass weed can knock your ass right out. I’ve been smoking all morning. If I walk out there right now and smoke, what am I sentencing myself too? I need a place to rest my head. It’s a hard life without a place to rest my head, that’s forsure. Okay. I’m off to smokeeeee.

*             *             *

Wowza. So the time is 18:35 and I am at Happy Donuts for the second time today. I just caught the 12 here because my trip past Bob’s Donuts resulted in a low stock observation along with a pretty full restaurant. I decided coming back to North Beach would be best. Something I did today, that I am very proud of, is edit and post my 20+ page article from Saigon. It’s live! Although…this isn’t, so it doesn’t really help you lol. The lady working gave me regular glazed instead of maple glazed, and I still enjoy it, but you know…it’s not what I asked for, otherwise my day is going pretty well. I went to the library with Kalen and finally applied for one job. The first one I have applied for in the city. I think I am going to just have to chop off the beard; I am being too slow with it. Chop it off and walk into some restaurants. I will end up with something. Did I tell you about the gig to make boba tea? I could do that shit. Easy peasy. Almost too easy.

Everything feels like a waste of time, but nothing is. Everything is worthwhile. It’s so hard to work one day at a time, because each small task is worth so little, and it’s sometimes hard to stay motivated. I cannot let my mind fall into the above loop. No matter what job I get in the city, I need to remember that it is going to pay off 10 fold if I use my knowledge correctly. Right now I feel kind of stuck, I can’t lie about it. Impossible. I am consuming so much sugar right now, it’s changing my state of mind. No good. I definitely need a place to call my own…and a steady job.

Casey gets off at 20:30, I am so fucked. I am full, and I’m tired and shit. My time is still all backwards. Idk what the next move for me is. I guess tomorrow I put on the nice clothes and go around? Most of my clothes smell, and none of them are very nice anyhow. Man. I can’t believe I fucked things up with the Green Tortoise. I bet they need front desk people, and I live next door, and I can’t work there. It’s lame. I don’t think I’ll find a gig at another hostel in the city. Am I really trying though? Not so hard. I just killed two glazed old fashioned donuts with a ton of glaze. I do…not feel great, but I am moving forward! I am quite tired, and desire a bed. Alas, I have but a floormat, and no blanket. The blanket is the part I’m really missing out on. If I had a blanket I bet I would be much more comfortable. I am very tired. I want to lay down and rest lol, but I have at least an hour and a half. I doubt Casey will want to go straight back. One thing about writing, it’s a fairly boring task. Like, when you are falling asleep, the idea of editing 10 pages just sounds impossible. How do I kill an hour and a half? I am supposed to be treating my body right, so in return I feel healthy and energetic, ready to tackle the many tasks that lay ahead. Instead I ate two donuts…I’m thinking about a third. I can’t believe I really said that.

I wish it was acceptable to fall asleep in public lol. Sometimes is it, but a donut shop is not one of the places. Yeah I’m all fucked up. My socks are dirty, and all my clothes. So I need to do some laundry but I am going to have to set aside hella time for that endeavor. Ugg. So tired!! I can’t stay awake. Idk what to do. If it was hella warm I’d go lay in a park, but it’s like the opposite of that. Its hella chilly out. I think I might eat a muffin, even though it’s going to be the death of me.

I did it. I bought a fucking muffin. Now I am all the way out of money! Nothing to bitch about now. I spent $100 in 4 days. That’s not impressive, but I bet Kalen could have made that shit last two weeks. I gotta admit, today didn’t go as I wanted it to go with the jobs. It started early, but then Casey and I just walked around soma all morning. It was a damned fun time, don’t get me wrong, but it wasn’t what I was supposed to be doing.

I think donuts shops make all their stuff out of powdered sugar and it saves on costs that would be occurred by using different kinds of sugar. That’s heavy. I am consuming a lot of sugar right now, that’s all that I know. Just plowing through this muffin, it’s ugly. I got it bad for sugar, I gotta get off the hook. When I quit sugar, it’s gonna be a big thing. Right now I need to get healthy though, so maybe no time like the present, huh? Ugh. I just feel like a poo. A poo that shall not pass. I just want to settle into a big warm bed, and I can’t. It’s weird the kind of things you can attach to in life. I am very attached to bed and showers. and sugar…

Omg I finished another muffin now. All my money is gone. I mostly used the money to consume sugar. I just can’t get over how much I feel like crap, compared with how much I knew I was going to feel like crap. I am brainstorming of places I can go lay down, but the city it so cold. I got nothing. It’s an hour until Casey gets out of work. That’s a while. I haven’t even been at this donut shop a whole hour. Today was supposed to be the day you guys! I fucked it up lol. Reset. Time to start over again. I don’t have the patience, that’s the problem. Nothing major is happening, I am just waiting for Casey to get off work, and I am just going so ham with it. I simply need to wait, and I guess idk how to do that. Now I am so full of donut and muffin that I feel sick, and on top of that I am hella tired. 50 minutes until Casey is off of work. What do I do? I could walk to meet him at work. That’s what I am going to happen. It’s like fuckkk man. Why I gotta go eating all this damn food. Now I gotta hit the atm in the morning, grab my last $20, and then hit the road and try again tomorrow. Peace until then.

*             *             *

I am at Peet’s Coffee, and I am having a really great experience. I mean the dude really made me feel 100 secure in my decision to come here. He was double checking what kind of coffee I wanted, and he asked me which specific scone I would prefer to have. Oh my, folks usually don’t take the time. I feel good about it. Maybe I will come back to Peet’s on the regular. I have gone to a few Peet’s, particularly the one in the Marina, but today things are going particularly well. I’m over on Cole and Carl just south of Haight. Casey has been suggesting for a couple of days that I come out here and look for a job, so today I took his advice. I rode the 6 all the way from the first stop in front of the ferry building, got off on Masonic and Haight, and then I walked over here. I walked through the Haight, but some of the places were closed, and I only saw one place with a “now hiring” sign. I am going to putz around on Craigslist for a little while whilst I eat this scone and drink this coffee, and then I’ll head back over there with a fresh look, at like 14:00, that’s the perfect time to interrupt service and ask for a job lol.

My stomach hurts a little bit. I really fucked up yesterday getting all sconed [I call eating too much of any pastry “getting sconed” now,] and then meeting up with Casey and eating way more. I am gluttonous! Let’s see, yesterday I ate a sandwich in the morning that I got from Casey [I forgot the sandwich today and it really sucks,] then I went to USCH and I ate a scone there, forsure. I had also had a doppio espresso and two coffee’s by this point. I ate a muffin, then met up with Kalen and ate some peanuts, then I went back to Happy Donuts and ate 2 donuts and a muffin, then I met up with Casey and ate a sandwich that I dipped in guacamole, as well as some potato salad. It was lit; all really bad food too, health wise, because it was a caprese sandwich, and that’s like all cheese. So I fell asleep after that, and I actually woke up at 07:00 today when Casey left the house, and that’s good! It means my jetlag is finally gone! I really think that. Now though, I have this fucking sugar addiction I gotta kick [food and sugar addiction]. I am eating a scone as we speak, spent $3 of my last $20 on this scone. Slick move, I know.

Do I really want to work in the Haight? The real question is: will I sell more writing as Spark Twain if I have a beard? I don’t see why a beard wouldn’t be better for my image. So that means I gotta work in the Haight or something, because I can’t get a job at a restaurant looking like this! I look like Grizzly Adams and shit. I thought about getting a job at a dispensary, that would be a good move for me. You know what though? I am finished with my scone…and I am already thinking about the second one lol. But I am going to hit CL now and look for that good Tech Kitchen job lol. When Kalen gets off work in an hour and twenty-three minutes I will probably go chill with him. So…peace for now! Might write more before I leave Peet’s, who knows.

*             *             *

I just bought a donut I only slightly wanted and then paid .50 cents extra for a larger coffee I didn’t really need! Vibes are on point though, what can I say? I’m spending too much money. I’ve spent $14 today. That’s crazy! because I am practically a homeless person [this isn’t true, and in fact Casey was insulted when I told him something close to this. He is housing me, and so I am the furthest thing from homeless, I am sheltered.] This was supposed to be one of those stories where a man lands in a city with no money in his pocket, and goes on swiftly to build his fortune and empire, and ‘swift’ is a relative term. but I am not living frugally enough to grow into any sort of baron! What is next for me? I applied for a couple of jobs online today, and so far no response, but I feel good. There was lots of jobs available through Craigslist, so I will go back on there tomorrow and eventually I will find my golden goose.

Before I started writing this evening I edited five pages of another article. I should be publishing it tomorrow morning. Eventually I will have to wrap this article and edit it and post it. The longer it gets the more I will put off the editing process lol. Anyway. I applied for four jobs today! Woohoo! One of them is a tech kitchen! Isn’t that just what the doctor ordered?!? and then I applied for a job as a ticket-taker at this place called Biscuits and Blues. If I got both jobs? Holy shit, I’d be so tired all the time, but I’d be so rich! and I think I would actually enjoy my life while that was going on. I kind of don’t feel that scenario playing out in my head however. Can I see myself working two jobs, 70 hours a week? EHHHH KINNNA. I mean I really want to. It would be amazing for my future to just buckle down and work two jobs all summer. In October I could go down to working normal hours [hopefully at the tech kitchen], and I would have some money I would be sitting on to jumpstart my saving more. It would be the move to end all moves. I could probably save 10k by September if I buckled down on two jobs. I might not do much writing during that time, but damn, am I not a writer at this point? Any periods of inactivity will just add to my mystique. Mmm. Brain flows.

Casey gets off work in 40 minutes. I hope he has some dank food with him, and I am sure he will. He works at noon again tomorrow, so maybe the same plan for the morning. Cool. I like chillin in the morning. We will wake up early and go to a Starbucks; good shit. If I wanted, I could walk over and meet Casey. If fact, if I end up with nothing else to do, that will be the thing I end up doing. Okay, I am doing the thing again where I am looking at people as they are walking past me in the window. Nothing more satisfying than looking at a girls butt as she walks past and you’re doing your sexy writer thing in the window. I’m kidding mother fuckers. The point is I didn’t miss a beat on that; I typed it all perfectly. I have good typing skills now! That’s unbelievable. I thought it would never happen. I remember I used to dream of this day, and tell myself if I just keep typing and typing, eventually I will be a master of the keyboard! and although I wouldn’t call myself a master yet, I am close. Definitely on my way.

The sun is setting in San Francisco. I am at Happy Donuts [it’s called something different on Google Maps, Casey had to remind me this is Happy Donuts] and the time is 19:57. I have a large cup of coffee sitting in front of me. I ate an apple fritter while I was editing those 5 pages before, and then I ate a cake donut with maple glaze and cashew bits with my coffee. The coffee, I am still drinking it. I certainly didn’t need a large, and in fact it’s probably not good for me, but shiiit. Here we are. I have a large, and I’m drinking it. I wonder what kind of mood Casey is going to be in when he gets off. I told myself I was going to finish editing that other article before I left this building, that way I am keeping up with productivity, you know? I should totally do that. Maybe I’ll do it right now. Okay. Might be back before I hit the road, we shall see.

*             *             *

I should always start with the time and date. Maybe this will be the last time I don’t. I always introduce it at some point, and in fact for a while I kind of thought that was my thing, but I am now thinking it would be beneficial to make the time and date the absolute first thing on every blog post. There is a catch though, because I am thinking of switching formats. Spark-fucking-Twain. Spark Twain bruh. I think that’s the move’s move. That’s the move’s move’s move that everyone copies and then it just becomes the move again. Spizzle Twiz. Sprazzle Dazzle. ST. Kalen and Casey feel it, and that’s the only confirmation I need. It accordance with this, I also want to switch formats with the writing itself. Maybe switch to fictional stories? Am I dare saying this…I am thinking of making hoz obsolete? With 150 posts under its belt maybe I would say goodbye. I guess I would keep the website, just update the security and what not, and just keep it how it is…forever. I could link to it from the new blog, and then I also wouldn’t be importing all my old writing into my new site. I will just host it perpetually, but I won’t make changes. Right? I think that might be how it goes. Why wouldn’t I just switch over to writing with Spark Twain full time? I guess if I want it to be a story only format that might provide a problem if I just feel like doing this type of writing, but I think there will be both a “rambling blog” and a “fictional stories” section where I am going…because I am going to build it. Everybody is going to cum.

You know; I heard when you tell people what you want to do/plan to do, like you tell them your dreams, it actually activates the same part of your brain that accomplishing the task activates, so it gives you a light satisfaction, maybe 10% of what you would feel if/when you actually completed the project. Ew! That means just rambling onto you guys about all my plans and shit…am I getting off from it? Is that what I just explained? No, I’m jk. I know it aint that. but I talk and talk and talk, and you know how much of this shit I actually get done? None. All these people around me, walking in and out of this coffee shop [I haven’t even talked about the coffee shop yet!] are getting way more money and doing way more complicated jobs than I will ever do. How though, can I dream to catch them if I never act on my ideas? Well I’ll tell you! I just write and write and write and write annnnnnnn

Just took my first sip of the coffee and it is pretty good! I am at a new coffee shop today. I looked up coffee shops, and I saw a Coffee Roastery over on Battery. First of all, I don’t know how I had missed this…I may have seen it and just forgot, because I do that type of shit. Second of all, the name of Union Street Coffee House, the place I normally go to get coffee, it’s really Union Street Coffee Roastery. oml I have just been calling it by a different name because I’m a bastard; and there are a bunch of Coffee Roastery’s in the city, I know of a third one on Chestnut to the west. So wu-wu I came over to this spot, and I asked the guy at the counter if this is the same business as the one on Union Street, and he said no. He said they used to all be the same owner, but there was a split and now they are all different companies. Damnnn. So the dream was just a dream after all. I think I like it better that they are all different companies. This one over here on Battery that I’m at has different baked goods than the one on Union. No scones…but they have these phattymagoomuffins I would hop on if I wasn’t the brokest pos in the world right now. I kid; I’ve seen broker folk on my walk over…I have pictures actually, of these three people sleeping on the Kearny steps. I have been taking a lot of photos since I got back, and I feel pretty good about it.

The time is 08:16 in San Francisco, and I am at BSCR…Battery Street Coffee Roastery. Is that right? So now USCH is the og because I actually call it something different. Hmm. I can get down. and there’s a CSCR also. Okay okay. I can get behind that. Okay. I have been talking to Kalen, I think we are really going to pull through on the motivation to film YT videos, and I think we are going to smoke weed in every park in SF. Isn’t that the move? I can also use this opportunity to promote my new moniker: ST. I need a job, obviously, and asap. I need to move my site over to a new host, while also hosting my second…and possibly my third site. I need a host that can do all that for me, I am thinking SiteGround. Then I get down filming with Kalen and Casey, and we just keep smoking until we get a section of the parks done, and then we edit and post it. So we [collectively Kalen and I, as I don’t think Casey is much good in his state rn] need to learn to video edit, do some graphic design, sell t-shirts, and we need to learn about managing websites.

I was just looking at my Google Guide acct, and my want for a 360 camera was renewed. I could take so many photos and post them to Google…that would be insane. Every photo I have on Google has my website in the caption too. It’s the lit’ist way to advertise. I am realizing there are a lot of words in my vernacular that don’t a standard spelling [as far as I am aware], and thusly I have fashioned some spellings myself. ‘Wu-wu’I am pretty proud of. Have you heard anyone say that? It’s the same thing as yada-yada. This dude was using it when I was in jail, and it really stuck with me. I forget the guys name. He was from Waukesha and had braids; a rapper. Black, and at least a head shorter than me, but could still probably kick my ass, he was pretty buff. He was talking about filming a music video when I was in there with him. Hella cool dude; it’s a shame, but I probably won’t see him again. Hmm. I wonder about Dave. I wonder if I will ever see Dave again. Have I told you about Dave? I know I have told you about him at least once. He is the guy who stole an Amish person’s Identity after he broke out of prison for selling acid, and went on the run for five years, only to get caught when he stole his bosses truck, and when he finally did get caught he didn’t even get in trouble for being anyone but himself. They didn’t even realize he stole someone else’s identity. Dave was a crazy guy, and he told me a bunch of crazy stories. I have him on fb, and I really do wonder if I’ll ever see him again. He would love San Francisco, but I don’t think he will be making it out here. Ever.

Adjusting to things anew happens so…smooth. Life smoothes that shit out flat. It took me a second to comprehend that Dave is a Milwaukee gent, and I am out here in San Francisco and I am so used to San Francisco gent’s, and it’s like…I had to really think about his stories from the Milwaukee perspective for a second to comprehend things properly. When I heard the stories years ago, I only had the Milwaukee perspective, but now I have several perspectives. I have the mke, the sea, the sfo, the sgn, the ccu, and I like to think I have the sat also. Do you understand what I did right there? I feel like I almost never…have I ever spelt it out for you guys? Spelt anything out? No? I think not, so I am not starting today. I will leave it as it is. Oh man oh manohman. My plan today is to finish editing my final Saigon article, then edit my Hong Kong article, and post them one; later the other, on my blog, and I am going to wrap this article up today, and if I can edit this one and get it out I need to do that as well, but I just sit here making it longer af. In the midst of all this, I still need to open up CL and look for some jobs. I applied for a couple yesterday, and I will apply for a couple more today. I found a scissors at Casey’s house so that’s good, I can use those to help tame my beard. I might need to buy a trimmer…idk. I am going to need to borrow some doe from someone, I think. I was all set up last time, but now I like…need stuff. I haven’t needed shit in a long time; I’ve been sailing; time to hit the harbor, and cross the land over to the other ocean, upon which I will sail into eternity…and beyond. Ugh. What am I even saying. Maybe I should hit up Casey lol, he might be awake by now. Head out, smoke a little. You know! Procrastinate before I really get to job hunting online. UGGHGHGGHH.
||
It turns out I finished editing the final Saigon article last night, which I have named “The Saigoneer! 4/7/19-4/10/19,” and so I just got straight to posting it. The internet is weak here, so I didn’t mess with adding pictures to the article. Then I jumped straight into editing my Hong Kong article, finished that, and posted it! Boom! Productivity! lol. if you can call this, that. I messaged Casey but he hasn’t gotten back to me. The time is 09:20. Still very early. Haven’t applied for any jobs yet! That might be a big thing I am missing, but other than that I am feeling good. Oh, but I intend to wrap up this article right now. Let me tell you I’ve been putting the “* * *” to represent a large break in time, and thusly I needed something to represent a small break in time, so I have started using the “||” to show a short break in time. I am not sure how I feel about it yet…I might tweak it a little bit, but I will get there. I learned through the two weeks I did in the free Appacademy program that || is a programming symbol that means “or;” like this or that. Pretty simple command, and I find it interesting how often I think of implementing some of the basic things I learned in that two weeks of coding classes, into my writing. I will probably do a little more with that class sooner or later, but I am not going to finish it, I don’t think. I hope you don’t see me just for my faults, one of which is that I wimp out and never finish anything. Coding however, I really do think it to be out of my league. That’s okay though, I’ll just stick in my own lane, which involves a lottt of writing. Random, sometimes educational or beneficial writing. I aim to be more educational with every [stroke/strike] of my [pen/keyboard].

Okay. I am sitting here thinking of all the things I need to get done, and I realize I can safely hit the road without feeling like I have no purpose. I gotta call Capitol One, and I probably should try and borrow some doe from my G, or at least from my Dad. I gotta apply for some jobs too, and I’ll probably settle into someplace later today and get down with that. So! Call Cap1 and call G, and then…just see where the day takes us. But that’s it for this post, which is 16 pages long according to MS Word [which I am not proud that I use. I prefer Google Docs] and almost 12k words. Gonna edit this; oh! I am going to edit this today too [lies], so that’s another thing I can keep busy with. Then onto a new post. Not ST yet, but I am beginning the move; mentally beginning the move. So, Peace! Until soon! ya filthy cannibals.

Chris

The Saigoneer! 4/7/19-4/10/19

I am writing to you from L Cafe in Saigon. I believe there are two or three of these cafe’s right around here, and since I am unfamiliar with the streets I cannot tell you exactly where I am, but I can tell you it’s near the Bui Vien Walking Street. The last few days have been eventful! I have 20 pages of unedited writing, and what I really need to do is edit that writing, but I have so much to say! I haven’t written anything in two days, and I’ve been in Can Tho for that time. I brought my laptop, but I never found a good chance to pull it out.

I may have written in the previous article that Will departed from Saigon and went to England for a little bit before he heads out to Australia for his second year. Well before his departure, we met a man named Dani. He is from Israel, and also happens to be my same height and my same age. The day after Will left, Dani and I took the four hour bus ride to Can Tho. I was impressed with the city. The size of it; the character. Can Tho is 1409 km2 [kilometers squared]. Sai Gon is 2,061 km2.Hmm. How big to you think Da Nang is? I am just Googling this all on the spot. Da Nang is 1,285 km2. Oh shit though, Hanoi is 3,329 km2. She’s a phatty! So Sai Gon has twice the population of Hanoi, but the latter is the much larger city. I now see why Hanoi is popping off. Idk why I just went into a rant about the size of the four largest cities in Vietnam…but I did. It’s over.

Today marks the first day I have let all the ice in my Ca Phe Sua melt before consumption. Granted, this is my second Ca Phe of the day. I didn’t desire a second, but I bought one. I went to the store for a lighter [when Trevor left. You’ll meet Trevor] and I felt bad coming and going from the restaurant without making a second purchase. It’s nice up here! on the third floor at 09:38 in the morning. The sun was beating earlier, but it has withheld since. OMG THE MUSIC HERE IS KILLING ME! Trevor and I decided to try this cafe because the first place we went was out of ice [they deliver ice in those bags I see restaurant linens in. You know, the ones that are like, woven plastic? People be driving all over Vietnam in the hot sun with bags of melting ice on their scooters, it’s crazy.]. The ambience was chill for a while, but as I moved out of the sun I got even closer to the speaker, and now it’s just unbearable. It’s loud af. In America this would be considered loud af, but here it’s like…normal? The clubs here are so loud. The mornings are loud, but the nighttimes bring fulminant noise. I live on a street with, like, 50 clubs, and they all blast music at dangerous levels and it’s the most clusterfucked-cacophany my bloodline has had the blessing to witness; I am so sure about it. There is a club on my street called Miss Saigon, and the music at the club is the same exact level of ear-obliterating every night; the loudest sound ever heard by human ears, second of course to the 1883 eruption of Krakatoa. Sooooo when I tell you the music at this cafe is loud, know I am not judging in accordance to relativity, but I am considering taking my business to a different cafe in this relative area. I am going to lay out a very logical argument combating this noise on Google Maps, and I know someone will read it. I feel wrong giving business advice over Google Maps Reviews in other countries. I mean I don’t know the culture. I could be bitching about the loud music and all the locals love it! Then again, I haven’t seen any locals at this cafe all day. When I am in the USA I will openly disgrace you on Google Maps, so you better be running a tight ship. It’s pretty easy to be on my good side though.

I just picked hella boogers and flicked them onto the roof behind me. Air pollution really generates boogers. I noticed it first in India, but then it became a reoccurring thing. Dirty cities produce large amounts of dirty boogers, at least in my nose. I am halfway through my second coffee and my last cigarette. I am still smoking you guys, no good! I be smoking more than a pack a day out here, it’s crazy. What did I do with all my time for those two years of not smoking? lol. I will get back to it though. So I am sitting here at the cafe and I just don’t know what my next move is. I have five more full days in this city [including today, and it’s 10:04 now] and I should use my time wisely, right? I really need to edit my last post, and then eventually edit and post this one. I need to do it in the right order though. I have kind of been inspired to write a story too, so I should jump into that asap I think. So many things…too much coffee to focus lol. Plus the music…Okay. With that, I am going to leave you for now. Close up my computer, finish my coffee, play on my phone, and then probably return to my hostel. Oh shit yeah, lol, it flooded at my hostel this morning because the water canister [for water pressure] on the roof broke, and the water dripped down five stories to get the bottom floor wet. Luckily I didn’t have anything on the ground…but some people did. So I doubt I will be able to go on the roof there today, otherwise I would probably just chill up there and edit. Anyway. That’s all for now. Soon! Peace!

*              *              *

I just took a bubble photo on the roof of my hostel. Yesterday when I returned to town with Dani around 15:00ish, I went to Flipside Hostel to see if they had rooms, only to have the lady inform me that they were fully booked. I had a backup plan for exactly that situation, and thus it went into action. I walked down the street, turned left, and walked to the end of the alley way to find Alley House, which [it turns out] is another great hostel in Saigon near the Bui Vien Walking Street. When you enter the main room there is the reception desk on your right, and nine beds to your left. The desk is very small, and the room is very small. There is a bathroom connected to the room, which has only a 3-D curtain as a door. So far no one has dropped an unbearable deuce. It’s a little awkward though, right? If the room is full, you’re taking a shit in a room full of nine people, and they are definitely going to hear every splash. If you’ve got the beer shits? Well, good luck to you. What’s the catch? It’s only 55k VND per night. That’s two dollars and fifty cents. A steal! I will only spend $15 more dollars on my hostel while I am here, and that’s just awesome! Frugality > Embarrassment endured  for defecating behind a paper door.

I’ve given up on making money! From now on…I let the money make me; allow it to mold me so that I am one with the money. Yin, and Yang; father, son, and the Holy Greenback. I met this guy Trevor, I talked briefly about him early, well I met him yesterday when Dani and I arrived back from Can Tho. Pretty cool dude, Trevor. We had some discussions about business, and the world. This morning we went for some Ca Phe Sua and I got to discuss with him even further. Inspiration can come from anywhere, and you shouldn’t be afraid to find inspiration in people you would otherwise view as equals. Men [and Women] are equal for different reasons, but they are unequal because of money. Trevor has a good plan for himself, and at an age where he is mentally ready to dive into the true business side of life, I am happy to have met him. Not to mention his dad has his back financially to help him fund his dreams. He is older than me, just by a little bit, and I hope to have my life as figured out as him by the time I am his age. A doable feat no doubt, but only with discipline and mental acuity.

I am excited to return to San Francisco and dive into some projects. Cheap, easy business endeavors is what I am going to dive into, but I am going to go rapid fire! Throw it all at the wall and see what sticks, that’s my plan. I wonder how Kalen is doing, I feel like I haven’t talked to him in over a week now. I wonder if @saigoneer is a handle being used on the internet already? I rather like it. If I was quicker and more diligent about things, I’d whip up a quick short story about The Saigoneer this week. Hmm…but you know where it starts? Here. Right now. I just close this useless clog of a document [lol], and I open a freshie so that I can craft the Saigoneer. Hmm. Sounds so easy, right?

*              *              *

I never wrote the story, forsure. I opened up a document and named in “Saigoneer,” but after staring at the blank document and over thinking it, I gave up. Today and yesterday I have been sick. Stomach problems. Also, I am at this hostel that has hard foam pads for mattresses, and it’s intensely worse while I have been sick. If I had known I was going to be sick, I would have secured a better mattress. Alas, I am too feeble to move all my stuff across town. Plus this lady is going to let me pay by PayPal, and I got my Dad to slide a couple bucks in my PP acct which will pay for the room. At this point I am kind of thinking I am going to end up withdrawing money from an ATM again, which is just lame. I’ll be pulling up to SF with like $70 then lol. I could take less money out of the ATM here, but I gotta pay $8 for it anyway. I am going to have to close my bank account when I get back, the shit is a joke forreal. I’m bout to have $70 in my acct, and I pay $10 a month if I have under $2000. Yeah. I think I’m at the wrong bank. I will need to secure a job right away too. I think today will be the day I quit smoking. Being sick helps give me a head start, because I don’t feel like smoking while I am sick. I’m talking squares here. I feel tired and shit again. I will never succeed if I keep smoking cigs, and so I will cease from it.

I am actually writing to you from my hotel bed at Alley House in Saigon. I spent about a week staying on the walking street, which was cool and as an added bonus I am comfortable walking in and out of the Flipside hostel, just chillin on their roof and shit. The room I am in has nine beds, and the bathroom is literally behind a curtain. The time is 17:28, and the day is Monday the 8th. I am admittedly pretty nervous about going home on Friday. Either way, I am out of money, so it’s the right move for me, but damn! Sometimes I be thinking I should have buckled down and gotten a job here. Other times I really believe that going home and working and opening a business in the USA is the move for me. I have been giving major thoughts to blogging, and I have the desire to immerse myself in a project when I get back. Sometimes I think I should just start blogging about San Francisco. I can always keep writing if I move to a new city. Also thinking about revamping the heartofzeus website. That would be the move for me. I wish I could get my sister to blog with me or something. I need to be working with other artists, that’s my problem.

Right now I am waiting for it to get dark and then I am going to go visit the weed lady. I think I can wrestle a good deal out of her, and then reallllly that should be my last time linking up with her. I leave Friday at 05:00, and I can’t decide if I should get on the plane stoned or not, but knowing me I’ll probably fly high. If I have the option? Exactly. But then I’m going to be back in SF when I can barely afford to smoke lol. All will be determined by how quickly I can get a job. If I show up at 10:30 and get a job the same day, I’ll be in it to win it. If I wait a week? Honestly I don’t think waiting a week is an option for me. Like I said I’m gonna have like 70 bucks. If Casey doesn’t let me stay with him then I’ll really be fucked. Sometimes I think about talking to Jo, but so far I haven’t. You know it’s kind of weird; I’ve been gettin blazed out here a lot, and if that wasn’t the case, I might have succumb to my emotions already and begun talking to Jo. It’s hard for me to change things up and leave a relationship, I know this. But, things are how they are. When I see Jo on the street, I will more than likely go and talk to her. It’s nice having a partner. I hate being alone, but I also was under a lot of stress with Jo. The stress is different now. I am still worried about my career and my future, but I feel more secure in my freedom to fail. and if I understand that failure is possible, I am obviously going to avoid it. With Jo I felt like there was no way we could fail at something if we put out mind to it, but at the end of things I didn’t feel I was growing much, or that the relationship was benefiting me in the ways I needed. I wonder how Jo felt. It easy to fall in love, but it’s hard to predict the future, and those two things go hand in hand.

*              *              *

I’m smoking too much. At this rate I will never make it to the end of the week. What happens if I run out of money? I don’t think I’m going to hit the atm again. The reality is that if I wanted to live cheap over here I totally could, but I have chosen not to. I spent $1800 in a 6 weeks. What the fuck you guys lol. That’s so extra. I have dreams and shit, about making investments and I was really hoping I could just chill out when I got back to SF, but no! Instead I spent all my money. I guess…$500 of that was spent on my plane ticket back, so really I’ve spent $1300 while I’ve been here, and even like $50 of that was spent on purchasing domain names. I am terrible with money, that is clear. I understand it very well, and then I also choose to spend it frivolously.

I leave Saigon so soon! It’s 07:15 on April 9th right now, and I leave 05:30 on April 12th. Coming upppp! Casey has off work on Friday, so that works out. I guess I will chill with him. I hope he’s not drinking and shit, that would be no good. Jo told me that I am better for Casey than Casey is for me, and I semi-believe that, except Casey seems to perform at the same level whether he is drunk or not. I am bothered by the difference since I spend so much time with him, but he could maintain a job while drinking for a long time I think. Maybe I should get a job at a thrift shop or something. Fuckk yeahh I should work in the Haight! That’s my damn move. Idk why, but it just hit me. All the jobs in the city pay the same, right? I want to do a job that doesn’t require my to cut my beard off, and honestly I’d like something that is just…kinna easy. I’ve spent my whole life working in restaurants, and I’ve never worked in retail, but shiidd I might give it a try in the Haight. I’d meet plenty of interesting people.

I am talking to my father about buying a house currently. He thinks Wisconsin Dells is the move. I think it’s Detroit. For the first time I think he is actually agreeing with me that there might be some money to make in Detroit. I noticed while doing some research that all the bad neighborhoods border the downtown. The city is going to blow up soon, and I think everyone knows that [I haven’t been there to confirm, but I believe the people I meet], so why wouldn’t it be true that the neighborhoods nearest the downtown would be worth the most? Well, I assume they have a lot of crime right now, but I think in 10 years that’s going to be a totally different case. I actually have to believe better than that, what I really want is for it to be different in 4 years, but that also means I could miss the jump on it. I just have to fucking go to Detroit! That’s the answer to all of these questions.

I was sitting and thinking on the roof of Alley House last night, and then I changed my IG name to Spark Twain. What do you think? I’m uhhh heavy weed smoking Mark Twain, lol.  I have actually, only read one of Twain’s works: The Prince and The Pauper. My Father tells me I should read A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, and so I own the book. I read the first chapter or two, but I think I was getting into more modern literature at the time. Perhaps I will turn it back again and read some Twain. All I know is, I like the name Spark Twain. but I like a lot of the things I make up lol.

So my Dad is moving out of his spot mid-July. I think he is going to go to Flordia. He is going to keep his Jeep. I’m telling him he shouldn’t move to Flordia because it will be impossible to save money there. I don’t really know if that is true, but it just feels so true. When I think of Flordia, I think of old ppl selling scripts. I have finished my Ca Phe Sua. Honestly I am thinking about smoking a damn cig! I told myself I was done yesterday. I didn’t smoke a square all day, and now I am sitting here and I am thinking about cigs. It’s not overpowering, it’s only slight, but I feel it. It’s more out of boredom, I would say. My body certainly says no, and I feel it that I won’t really enjoy a cig. but my brain wants it lol. Damn that brain.

I don’t know what to do. I’m tempted to have the cig because I have half a pack with me, but idk…lol. That’s obviously un-fucking-healthy. I will not feel as woke immediately afterwards, I already know it. I suppose the other option is to just smoke more weed, but I know it’s possible to have balance in this situation so I will not resort to that. My father and my sister and planning to move together, and I am telling them to fucking buy a place together! I feel like no one is taking this seriously except me. Granted, I am not saving money and I am instead out here traveling, but I am soon to return, and then I will prove that talk is not [always] cheap! As long as you pay yourself well for it. All the pieces are there for my father and sister to buy a place and have a little money saved up in a couple of years, but I just…don’t know if they’re going to pull the trigger on it. They could get a condo easy. My dad is such an asshole these days. I don’t know why, but he is totally different than when I was a kid. I feel like I’m really trying to help him out here, and he just belittles me. Sometimes I think about kicking his ass, but he’s really too much of a nice guy to swing on. I will sit back and let him do his thing. I just told him if they end up renting a place, I will never let him live it down. Eve I might let slide because she is still young, but my Dad is in a position where he could actually get a small piece of the action right now and I do not feel bad about holding him to that high bar. Sometimes I literally fucking hate my dad. He spent his entire life talking to me about money, and I grow to find he won’t even put his money where his mouth is. Other times I feel bad for him. I really don’t like anyone though. Everyone fails me, even me, at some point. I deal with it.

What I should do is spend my day editing all my writing. I just…can’t focus? Don’t have the patience. You know right now I kind of feel like I do have the patience. I also feel like I want to smoke a square. I still have the pack with me, and I know if I threw them away I would not be considering buying more, but since they are here I am thinking about smoking them. I can picture the otherside of the cig already. Less clarity. I am making up excuses in my head, like how I could smoke one and then write about the terrible process and how I feel on the other side. I know if I lit a square now and started smoking, I would finish the pack by the end of the day. I would be at risk of buying more forsure if I finished the pack before the end of the day. I am sitting here and it’s getting hot. I am losing my patience. I don’t know what to do today. Mostly I guess I’ve been smoking cigarettes lol. Ugh. I am so tempted to do it. I am weak! Ugh. My stomach hurts a little now. I wonder if smoking gives me a stomach ache. It’s possible. The sun is creeping. In a minute or so it will be on me. I think I’m going to fall victim and smoke…I feel so dumb about it. It’s like…I know I am not going to smoke in SF though. I took the day off and I felt good about it, and honestly if I was distracted I wouldn’t be thinking twice about smoking a cig. Ugh. Did you see me talk myself into that? Okay. I am going to light it up. Oh No! you’re probably thinking, and you would be correct. Omg I did it. You know I’ve quit smoking twice before in my life. When I was 19 I quit for 9 months, and then I smoked for a few more years until I was 25, and then I quit up until I arrived in Da Nang. I still haven’t inhaled. Thinking about putting it out lol. The sun is here. Holy shit you guys I put it out! I talked myself out of smoking. I sat and breathed the second hand smoke for a second, but I didn’t puff the bad boy. Hmm. I told myself “if I smoke this then I’m gonna end up smoking more tree probably, and if I run out of tree and I’m still smoking squares then I will certainly not quit with the squares, but if it’s the other way around I actually have a chance.” Okay. The sun is here. I could just move out of the sun…but I might leave the cafe and head… back to the hostel? I could easily run out of weed today too lol. No good! If I don’t buy anymore tree I will almost certainly make it to Friday without an ATM withdrawal. I need that. I’ve been off the rails, but now is the time to get back on track, and that’s exactly what I am doing.

*              *              *

It’s the next day now. I’m smoking the second half of my last J on the top floor of L cafe. It’s fucking Wednesday! The 10th! That’s insane, because it means my trip ends in two days. I remember it all. Leaving SF. Flying to Milwaukee and seeing my Dad at the airport, and then spending a month in his basement. Good times. I remember flying to Qatar and then India. I spent a fucking month in Kolkata, that was a crazy time. A month in Thailand, a month in Laos, and six weeks in Vietnam. I’ve been stoned for almost everyday in Vietnam. In fact, this is supposed to be the last tree I smoke while in the country. I feel it would be advantageous of me to stop…I actually meant to finish this last night and wake up today with nothing, but it didn’t go down like that. So I will be done with this in several minutes, and by like 2 or 3 in the afternoon I’ll be Stone Cold, and then I have tomorrow to return to normality and then the following day at 05:00 I catch that plane.

I put it out. I feel…you know one thing about smoking weed all the time is that it’s kinna the same feeling. I mean, sure, you have different strains and shit that act differently, and you are affected by the outside world still.. However that effect from the outside world is so much lesser with the habitual smoker, that it’s practically monotonous. Sometimes I worry that I smoke too much weed. Other times I tell myself I shouldn’t worry. and after I’m done freaking out I always realize that weed isn’t technically healthy and if I want to enjoy it to the fullest potential I should be healthy in other aspects of my life. I don’t really enjoy drinking this Cap Phe Sua or eating this Croissant as much as I enjoy smoking weed, and in fact it’s not even close.

My friend Corey once told me that you can do something as simple as cut your hair and it has the potential to jumpstart the change you are looking for. I need a change when I return to SF. It will be different no matter what, because everyday is new, but I think I could easily slip in a big change right now and it would go quite smooth. My father is moving, I am up in the air about where I want to live. I love SF, but it’s impossible to own anything there so I’m thinking after 1 or 2 years I head back to the middle of the country, right? I am also at like 8 months not drinking, and having 4 of those months be a backpacking trip through SE Asia, I feel quite good about my sobriety. It’s hard to explain because I am so young and drank for such a short time, but when I went for it, I went for it, and so I had to kick that shit and I am glad I did. I dearly hoped it would lead to automatic success, alas… I have received freedom, yet as of: no success; I quest it. I am certain I am over thinking the current situation, because the fact is I will have to go back to SF and save some money, and that is just going to take time. If I choose to think and think and think while I am working, I will think myself to death! I need to just take my take saving some money, and then bust moves when I need? NO! As I was writing that sentence I realized it is wrong, because, I need to be multitasking! That’s what I AM missing and what I should plan to do. I always just do one thing at a time. Like, I haven’t even done my taxes yet [lol] what am I talking about with this “I need a plan” shit. Nah. I need some consistency, and good, healthy space to think in.

I have been messaging Kalen on IG, but I assume he is busy because he hasn’t been answering [turns out his new phone doesn’t have IG]. I wonder if he is happy in his position. He signed a year lease in the city, which is fine and dandy and all that, but I definitely could have lived with him so it is kinna lame in that aspect. Actually, I can’t bitch. I am 110% down for living with Casey, and in fact I think it will be better for both of us, but it’s a shame all three of us couldn’t be living together. We need to find a way to squeeze some money out of that city forreal.

Where is my focus on writing? You know, I’m always thinking about starting a new blog and shit, and do you know why? Because that shit would be easy, and I like easy. It is seeming though that’s not really what I want, and in fact maybe it’s the universes way of guiding me from a life I would not enjoy. If it ended up being a lot of popularity and not a lot of money as a blogger, I would be unhappy. I don’t really feel like starting a blog right now, or I think I would just start that second one, right? I foolishly bought some websites, and one of them I might still use, but I will try and sell some of them also, but I am not gonna be torn up that I spent some money on some websites. I recently wrote “I’m $35 into this project, there’s no turning back” or something like that, but I am now of the mindstate that I just need to do what I feel. To me, everyday is a Felix Felicis day, if you believe it is! and so if I feel like going to Hagrid’s houseI’m just gonna fuggin go to Hagrids.

Is Hagrids house in Detroit? Probably not. I’ve been giving that some thought too. I am pretty much planning to sign a lease…or jump on Casey’s lease, and stay in the city until I have 10k, right? I will probably get 1,200 a check, andso 600 for rent plus 200 a month for Jo cuz I owe her some money, and idfk how much for food, but anyway, if I get $2,400 a month I think I can save at least a thousand, maybe more. Kalen thinks he can save $1000 a month and my rent would be $350 cheaper than his. Hmm. If I could save $1350 a month I would probably try and pay Jo off fast, I think that would be the move. Get that outta the way. Shouldn’t take too long. Maybe I should go to whatever business is at the Asian Box location in the Marina and get them to let me live there. I need to find a place that will let me live at the office lol. Do that for two years, and now we’re talking.

The time is 08:06 here in Saigon and I just don’t know what to do with myself. I have done very close to nothing everyday that I have been in this country lol, I can’t even lie about it. Today though, I don’t know what to do. I was thinking after I am done here I could go to the park and read, maybe even finish my book, I’ve only got 66 pages left or something. Have you read Sapiens yet? You totally should, it’s a great book. I can’t wait to pick up the sequels. See. Boom! Right there. I need to read more. I could easily have time set aside every week that I read. You know I was studying programming a little bit in Laos when I was with Jo, and I haven’t opened that up once since I got to Vietnam. It’s like…whoa, that was kinna dumb lol. I could have done a ton in that programme this month! Learn new stuff, that’s what I need to do! and you know learning is kind of hard. I need to keep practiced so I don’t lose it. I definitely don’t feel like getting a job right now fam. I just feel like having money, that’s it. The job part I could give or take. I certainly don’t want to work with food, but I have a feeling that is what I am going to end up doing. I am looking at the Saigonciti Hotel while I am typing this and I am noticing how much better I have become at typing while not looking at the keyboard. I still make mistakes, but I am just so much better than I was a year ago it’s crazy. It’s actually kind of cool. So, anyway lol. I need to read more. I could be coding. I will have to work so I can save money and eventually not have to work. I will keep blogging…Oh! I could go to fxcking school still! I could apply for CCSF and see if I get accepted. Who knows. It could be the best this that ever happens to me. I haven’t been in a classroom in a long, long time. I don’t really know if I would enjoy it, but at least it would give me something to do that I would be locked into for a year or 6 months or something. Who am I kidding though, I don’t really think I am going to enroll in school. I think I am going to save a little bit of money, and then make a stupid risky investment with it, and after several tries I might come out on top lol. I get anxiety thinking about the money that I’ve lost, forreal. Damn. You know I have more money left than I thought I would. Yesterday I paid my lady and I had her give me cash back. I paid an extra dollar for that, but it’s worth it to me. So I have 760k, but I am toying with the idea of bringing a 500k VND note back with me just because it’s kind of cool. That’s like 20 bucks. Otherwise I could actually afford more tree, but I usually don’t see the lady until nighttime. Sometimes I see her on the streets during the day. If I saw her today I might scoop some. Idk. I want to stop smoking…party because I’ve got the plane ride and that’s like, a hella long day and a bad time to go 24h not smoking weed for the first time in a month lol. Honestly…I can see me not taking another break from weed for quite a long time. I need to ground myself in that aspect. I need to be healthier, read more, work more, and build more long lasting friendships before I am 30, all so I can balance out good daba in my life, because I have decided that is something I really want. I mean what did you expect?

Spark Twain

Words from Beanstalk Cafe; Ashley’s Cafe. Post #89

Wow. So I am sitting in Beanstalk cafe, on the corner of 8th Avenue and California Street. A quiet part of the city: Inner Richmond. I was not particularly enjoying myself. The lady who works here is quite nice, and the place looks inviting; there is an animal pelt under my feet, gotta love that shit. But then somebody (it’s just two ladies working), put on Lily Allen’s Smile. I don’t know if any of you know, but I love Lily Allen, particularly her first album Alright Still. Ugh. The song is over already. I can’t even tell whats playing, but I know it’s some bullshit. It’s all bullshit. Apparently I don’t operate kindly when fueled by 3 hours of sleep. It’s sad but it’s true. Maybe I have some other problems in my life I need to work out also.

I was intending to write when I came into this building this morning, and as I sit here writing I am thankful my sour attitude didn’t last long. Jack Johnson is playing now, and I can get behind that also. I have money in my pocket today, where as yesterday I didn’t. I have $958.00. Which isn’t much, but it’s what I’ve got. I don’t exactly know what I’m going to do with it either. I have all sorts of useless bullshit I desire to purchase, and a new computer is at the top of the list (everything is useless bullshit today, just bare with me). I just overheard the ladies at the counter talking that this place has only been open for 2 weeks. I also happened to notice their Help Wanted sign in the window. I could start working at 7 AM over here, and that would be an interesting gig. I have never worked in a coffee shop before. Well, in between that last sentence and this one, I went and re-observed the sign. I do not think I will be applying to work here, or at any second job as a matter of fact. I just like being a broke piece of shit, what can I say?

Damn. I just realized I have a grip of shit I gotta get doing if I want to get anywhere in life. Even all the ‘hardwork’ I put into this site isn’t enough. This isn’t even hard fucking work! I just get stoned and write. I’m kind of excited to start traveling, I think spending a little less time around weed could be good for my overall longevity. Plus it might be getting in the way of hardwork. Instead of writing outlined, concise, and overall efficient pieces, I just generate bullshit. You’re reading night soil ladies and gentlefucks.

I am in desperate want to generate an information sheet for MAC’D. We definitely need one, but also I am hoping there is money in it. I would like to write an article about recycling. In California, we separate the Garbage, Compost, and Recycling. That’s a big thing ladies and gentleman! And do you know what is something really important I learned? In order to save the planet, we’re going to have to start separating our garbage, probably by hand. If you work at a business, it is your responsibility to dig through and separate the waste. It is now part of every job description when working in a restaurant. Everyone is going to be a waste management specialist. In both Seattle and San Francisco, responsible waste management is enforced heavily. Business’ that are caught violating the law regarding recycling are slapped with sizable fines. There is no machine (yet) to make things cheaper, or faster, or easier; you’re going to start digging through garbage; or were all going to die. Maybe, someday, everyone will decide to place their waste into the proper container. But until then the responsible, and moral, and educated will do what they can, and right now the most practical thing we can do is the degrading and menial task of separating garbage (eventually we’re all going to have to quit eating red meat, so separating garbage ain’t even that bad, really). I also see a future where humans, specifically Americans, spend less time working for private interests, and more time growing their own sustainability. If every family that wanted red meat had to take care of their own cow? Well I think that would do wonders to shirk our carbon footprint. Nobody wants to take care of a damn cow.

. . .

I downloaded the app Headspace. Wisely, they decided to advertise at the beginning or ASMR videos, and since I enjoyed the gentleman’s voice; found it relaxing, I downloaded the app. It is currently reminding me to ‘Get some Headspace,’ which I suppose means meditate. I agree that maybe I could get some Headspace this morning, and so I am going to plug in my headphones, and listen to this Aussie talk for 10 minutes on the subject I have indicated I would like to improve with Headspace: Focus. Wow a whole page already.

Okay. So I just finished my second session on Headspace, and I must say I am still quite infatuated with the man’s voice; it is quite relaxing. He talks about the mind wandering often, and my mind wanders quite often. Even when I should be writing a good, solid review of Headspace, all I can think is ‘this makes me want to record some ASMR.’ Totally not the point of this exercise! We already know I am going to be writing about ASMR, and to switch to filming videos would be a change of pace I do not wish to occur. My scatterbrainedness can be seen in the fact that my articles have no organization or theme. For instance: the money would definitely be in writing a solid review of Headspace, and from the title of the article all the way through the body of the work, I would stay focused on the Headspace app. Instead however, I simply bury my half-assed talk about Headspace in the middle of an article about nothing. Real wise of me, right? Well anyway, I am going to leave the Beanstalk Cafe, and probably go to Jo’s house. Eventually I have to make it down to the Mission today, and then I work at 6:15 PM until about 3 AM. Should be a good time. Friday and Saturday are money making days for me, and I am glad to have the mornings off those days to get some work done as well.

Chris.

I am writing from a place called Asian Box, which is Asian street food in a box. I just happened to be walking around looking for places to eat. I was riding the Neo with Jo. I had decided I wanted to exit on Fillmore…Holy shit there is this constant alarm going off at the restaurant I am in, it’s intense. New folks working here, just like at MAC’D. Clearly the alarm is not a normal thing, or they would have figured it out. Okay, its over. Okay, so my food came, and it’s pretty damn good. Asian Box is probably healthier than MAC’D. I’ll tell you though, the only reason to make a comparison is because they are both based on the ‘Build Your Own!’ model. Thusly, I assembled my own concoction. The ingredients are quite fresh. I do enjoy the food. If you go to Asian Box, it is highly recommended you get all the toppings. Of course that’s what I did.

Chris

I am writing to you from Martha & Bros. Coffee Company. My first impressions are so-so. I thought the staff was helpful and friendly. All their products are to-go, so I got a small coffee and the last blueberry scone they had. I am eating the scone right now. It’s a pretty good scone as far as flavor, but it is fluffy, and I like a high density scone. One factor that will play a big role on if I return to this coffee shop or not, is the fact that it is located in Noe Valley. I occasionally do some work in Noe Valley for Saloonbox (I load the boxes), but other than that I am hardly in the area. It is far away from everything else I have associated myself with, and it is one of the more expensive areas in the city. I am plowing thru this scone. It is quite good, I must say, but still the density lacks. At the end of the day, I guess I wish I had simply returned to my usual: Union Street Coffee House. I also have to work at 4:30 today, and the commute from here will turn out to be quite sizable. To be honest…since my coffee is in a to-go cup I am considering just packing up and hitting the bus back to the other side of town. The 24 would be the way to go. Damn. I just got here. But I am trying to kill a sizable amount of time, and I just don’t feel at home doing such a thing here. The time is 10:22 AM.

Well that was quite a journey, and now I’m at MAC’D. One of the owners, Chen-Chen, is in the office behind me. I am waiting for food. I left Martha & Bros coffee, hit the 24 bus north on Divisidero, got off at union street and sat in the Union Street Coffee Shop for a little over an hour looking at surface tablets on the internet. I drank only one cup of coffee, but the caffeine content must have been high; I’m pretty jittery. Afterward I decided to come in to eat at work because, well, I like the food. Also I can write and chill out for a little bit before I start my shift. Today will be a bit different, in that I will be cleaning for a couple hours before I begin a night of expediting food to hungry customers. I am really beginning to settle into my employment at MAC’D. I enjoy the all the tasks I do, and I really feel like I am contributing to the world around me, in a way that can also benefit me.

I am sitting here thinking of all the ways I can make money. Let me tell you, when you can make money off of a popular project, and the money you make doesn’t deduct/take from the profit of said project: you will be doubly rewarded. It is in this spirit that I write about MAC’D. People are already going to be Googling my place of work, right? Why not give them the opportunity to read a blog written by one of the MAC’D employees (me, duh)? I believe folks will find me when they search for MAC’D, as my website will show up in the Google results. From what I have researched about SEO and appearing in Google results, creating original content is key. Beyond that, we all know Keywords will always be the ‘key’ to people finding your page, maybe even moving on to Key Phrases nowadays. Perhaps vocabulary size will be taken into account? I just write, and in my writing I mention where I am, or who I work for, or where I am traveling, and I simply trust Google to present my website to the proper interested parties. What I am getting at in the end is: I think there is money in writing about MAC’D. I think writing about my work will increase both of our reputations, and in the end, that which I write about MAC’D will be of value and useful nature in the future, maybe even the far future.

That’s it for me today. I just ate a full bowl of MAC’D, and damn, I’m full enough for two. Now I will go clock in and work a solid 8 hours. I need the money, and am happy to catch the hours. The time is 1:58 PM in San Francisco.

Chris

In contrast to how much I had been hitting these keys, I haven’t written in quite some time. After comparing the above writing to my clock-in times on Homebase (the app MAC’D uses for for scheduling), I have come to the conclusion the last time I wrote was Monday. I clocked in two hours early to do some cleaning that day. Then I worked Tuesday from (roughly) 4-10, and when I got off of work I took the bus over to Jo’s house, and after a little bit of discussion, followed by a research binge, we booked one night at the Days Inn in Monterrey, California. Since my last writing I have: Seen the first theater in California, visited the Monterrey Bay Aquarium, failed to stop at the Robert Louis Stevenson house, took a ride down Guadeloupe Canyon Parkway, and to wrap it all up I lost my In and Out virginity. I work at 6:15 PM tonight. But…

The time is 8:42 AM, and it is Friday in San Francisco. I am writing to you from Union Street Coffee House. It is still early, but perhaps it only feels that way because I only recently arrived at the coffee house. I awoke in Jo’s bed this morning, and I was well rested. As I age rest occasionally eludes me, even when I am vigilant about it’s apprehension. Today I woke rested, which is good because that rest has to carry me through until I leave work at 3 AM.

Already today I have scheduled an appointment to submit my passport application. Woohoo! I have long since been speaking of a lifestyle that requires leaving the county, but not until today have I commenced forward progression on the topic. Soon I will be able to travel the world, and I am sure I will learn some stuff. However, I have already decided I am, simply, going to write, so I will not worry about judgment and the evolution of my writing. To read my writing at 25, is to be listening to a 25 year old. Lest I be worried about how folks will compare that to my work of 10 years later! So as I make foolish mistakes, premature judgments, and write the inevitable folly that folks must write in order to grow, I maintain my constant vigilance, and I keep my emotions in check. I am just going to write, and try to get better. Especially when it comes to this blog; I am just going to write in a flowing sense. I just sit down, and I write what comes into my mind. For the future of this website, and for any books I will write in the future, my approach to accomplishing my goals may be different. Today however, I just want to write. Thusly, this is what you receive.

Chris

I am now at SPARC. All the 8th’s are 40% off, so I bought one. Smoking on some Pineapple. A 15% indica. I prefer an indica, but consumed copiously it can be over-cumbersome, you know? I have found that smoking on a low percentage allows me to smoke all day without experiencing any dramatic crashes. If you start your day smoking on some 29% Gorilla Glue, you got nowhere to go. Anyway, that is (almost) enough about cannabis. In the future I will consume less of it, simply because that is what life demands. By continuing what I do with the Heart Of Zeus Blog, I am choosing a certain lifestyle. I am a traveling writer. With that lifestyle may or may not come prosperity, and if I limit myself not to strictly a traveling writer, if I am more than that…well than I am simply doing what is necessary to manifest thy personal destiny in the modern day. But I’m probably going to keep smoking pot y’all.

After I leave here I am going to REI to get some more information on sleeping bags and traveling with them, and from there I am going to the Microsoft store to get some question answered, mostly about the Microsoft Surface. I need a lighter machine to travel with, but I also want to expand my skill set. I am going to end up spending some money, and in the end I will have a lightweight and efficient machine to travel with, and that will be my tool. Gotta keep my tool and my wit sharp, so I am going to learn what I can.

Chris

I am writing to you from Ashley’s cafe, which is in the neighborhood of Inner Richmond in San Francisco. Unfortunately I am experiencing the same problem here I experience everywhere else, in that the coffee has a very high caffeine content. Damn…I hate being disappointed in things. Alas, I am disappointed in this cafe. I said that last time I went to a cafe up here, and that one was Beanstalk cafe. One thing about the beanstalk cafe however was that the dark roast coffee was actually a pretty dark roast. Low caffeine is what I like, and it’s impossible to find in this city, but Beanstalk cafe provided. If you’re in Inner Richmond and you’re looking for a morning coffee, go Beanstalk. I hate to admit it, but Ashley’s cafe has reasonably priced food, and it’s pretty tasty. I am about to finish my breakfast sandwich.

I work a double today, and I am happy to be getting the extra hours. What is no good is that I did not plan very well, and now I am stuck with having to run around before my shift starts at 11 AM. The time is currently 7:33 AM. So I am going to work the register at MAC’D for 6 hours, then I get an hour and fifteen minute break, and I will finish the night with 9 more hours working the expediting position. The one dilemma I happened to overlook is: my sleeping situation. I am not entirely sure what my plan for the night is yet, but I have stopped in this cafe to figure that situation out, and so far all I’ve done is write these two paragraphs.

Chris

The time is 5:22 AM and I am at Lori’s diner on Powell and Sutter in San Francisco. I am very tired. I have been brought here by an unfortunate series of events, the telling of which I may be to weary to partake in. The responsibility can be held partially by me, in that I am refusing to pay for 2 nights at a hostel, wherein any usual circumstance a guest would be very much required to pay for both nights; it is 5 AM, and check in isn’t until 3 PM. However being as I am Chris Buckley, I can do no such thing: paying for two nights. And so I left, and now I am at Lori’s diner.

I worked 16 hours today, and I am refusing to drop an extra $56 for sleep. I wish I could redirect this shrewd-stubbornness into forward motion, but so far I have not figured out the secret. My, oh my. I ended at Lori’s diner because Pine Crest and Jack in the Box didn’t have outlets. This place has an outlet. I’m sitting at a triangle table, and I am facing the door. There is an old style radio to my left, and the clock upon it is stuck at 9:23. But the music! It’s all oldies, and the genres seem to differ greatly. It’s chaotic, especially right now at 5 AM. I sit here in the diner, and I am pondering my return to the Adelaide. I had visited a different hostel, HI in Fort Mason, earlier in the night. They gave me the same story, that I could not check in until 3 PM, but that is pretty much what I had expected from Hosteling International. When I lived in Seattle, HI and City Hostel were the main competition of Green Tortoise. I met many a folk that stayed at both; I was a simple tortoise dweller, and only recently was I force to come out of my shell. Anyway, the gentleman at HI was accommodating to the degree in that he did not ask me to leave, which was nice; remember I just showed up with a couple of bags at 4 AM. I called Adelaide Hostel from HI and came to an understanding with the man on the phone. Upon my arrival to Adelaide I immediately redirected myself to the Dakota Hotel, attempting to save four dollars. This is where things take a turn for worse. Sadly, a young women was working there, and apparently she is behind my abhorrent refusal. Not only was I told the 4 dollar price difference did not exist, I then had to leave the hostel and seek refuge in this diner. I have eaten food, and now I am full and sleep. I know not what I am going to do. [As I was editing this I realized that I did in fact know what I was going to do. And so, in the end, I went back to the Adelaide during a time the owner was present, and he allowed me to check it early].

The time is 10:33 PM, and I am at Adelaide Hostel. I was given privileges to check in early, and I am grateful for that. Everyone should stay at the Adelaide, and of course we know the Heart Of Zeus philosophy that is If You Can Wit Your Way Into It, Smitten It Was [I had just made that up, I’ve never actually said such a thing].

I am sooo fucking tired of carrying this HUGE HP Pavillion dv7 around. I really think in the next day or two I will be purchasing a new laptop [never happened]. I look around me here, inside the Family Room (as I will call it) of the Adelaide, and I forsure have the largest laptop in the room. If there was anything I learned from my short but wonderful time in Texas: Bigger is always Better. Alas, I am much to crippled to be lugging this titan around, and the HP must go for that reason. If I was in full health, perhaps I would carry this computer until it ultimately failed me. The case is however that I will reassign this machine, and the new user may be the one to accompany my long used HP to it’s death; it’s final departing days. I am selling the computer. I will first purchase a new computer, and then I will sell the old…my CD drive just popped out for no reason. That was really fucking strange. Like it just happened and I had to break off and talk about that shit. It’s a button on the side of the computer, and I’m all hands on deck with the keyboard. I smoked a spliff tonight and I am feeling that tobacco a wee bit. Those 10 years of smoking cigs did me no favors, and if anything simply ruined a good spliff life I could have lived. I spend a lot of time with folks from Europe, and they all smoke spliffs. Tonight I was simply given a spliff, so of course I chiefed that motherfucker. And now I’m writing. Omg lol, this was supposed to be a lil two sentence blurb, because what I really want to be doing is looking at laptops online, and I just wanted to write a small update. I intend to buy a new machine soon, and that means the next time I write to you may be from that new machine. Only time will tell, but I am thinking I want the device ‘sooner than already there’: STAT. I need small machine. What’s the smallest laptop? What do YOU think I should be getting? Will Chris make the right choice? Find out next time on:

Heart Of Zeus

The time is 1:35 AM in San Francisco, and I am at Lori’s Diner again. I was editing my above writing, because I have drunk too much coffee, and simply decided it was a good time to edit. However, just moments ago four police officers walked into the joint. It appeared that they meant business, although I had detected no disturbance prior. It has been nearly a whole minute now and nothing has happened, so I am concluding nothing is happening. Oh shitt two more officers just walked in. One got a menu. They must just be craving food. Interesting. Lori’s is definitely busier now (1 AM) than the last time I was here (5 AM), which was the only time I was here, and I wrote about it in this very article lol. Last time I had the Blues Burger, this time I am having the Lori’s Burger, which comes with sweet potato fries. I smashed the whole thing pretty quick. Probably not a wise thing, since I was interested in staying up all night, and then getting breakfast with Jo. I still intend to get breakfast with her, but perhaps I will catch a couple Z’s between now and then. We are going to have breakfast at Mama’s, which is a popular place in North Beach. I had never heard of it, and neither of us have been. Once I am there I will probably recognize the restaurant. I bet it’s expensive. Everything is expensive in the Bay area. It’s kind of excessive, but the money is also available to be made here, so what is to be said else on the subject? I am here. [I did catch some Z’s, and we ate at Pork Store Cafe in the Haight instead].

Yeah those cops are definitely just eating some food. Nothing exciting happened. I got the bill however. $20.39 Lame. But I am going to pay it, right? I do wonder what things will be like for me when I begin to travel. If money was no object, I guess I would just hop from cafe to cafe on foot, drinking coffee and tea, and staying an hour or more as I wrote from them all; or perhaps just surfed the internet. In San Francisco that lifestyle gets quite expensive. It is what I am doing right now. I already bought a $4 coffee at Denny’s, and I would have spent twice that if my friend hadn’t requested to have his coffee removed from the bill. I was taken aback when he told me his plan of action, although is it true that he didn’t drink the coffee, and also I am down with saving money. The waiter removed his coffee from the bill, and I saved $4. I couldn’t believe it. Definitely learning from Casey. He’s the dude I am going to have help me raise money. What are we raising money for? In order to sum it up rapidly, we are raising money for an independent blog.

Okay four of the cops just left. One of them was like “Gotta go commit crime asknfuiarenoie…,” he said more as he left, but the jist is that he was complaining, I think because they didn’t even have enough time to receive their food. Hmm. We shall see what happens. I’m texting Jo. She’s working the overnight shift at the Hostel. It’s been a good 5 minutes now and two of the cops have been posted up near the front since the other four left. Nothing else has happened. I think there was 8 cops in total, which means two probably have food by now. Okay. I think I am going to leave the diner now. The time is 2:09 AM in SF, and the date is…OMG it’s the got-damn fourth of July folks! Woo! Firework time! Although I know not where to find then. I work tonight from 4-10 PM though, so I might miss the firework show San Francisco puts on; if they put on any.

Chris

I am back at Ashley’s cafe. Besides Union Street Coffee House, it is one of the only coffee shops that opens at 6 AM. USCH remains my favorite place to write in the city (by a long shot), but this coffee shop was very close to me, and so here I am. One of the things I dislike about this place is the music they play. It is all very popular radio music, and sometimes I find it hard to concentrate because I am singing the songs. Come to think of it, I don’t even know if USCH plays music. Right now I’m listening to Hoosier. Fun Fact: I didn’t know Hoosier was a place until I met, and followed on Instagram, Parker Pickett, a friend of mine I met at the Green Tortoise. He’s in a band called Indian Old School, and from the pictures I’ve seen I bet they put on a good show. Now the workers of Ashley’s are playing ‘The A Team’, by Ed Sheeran. What a terribly sad song lol. OH! But now they are playing some…acoustic version…of You Will Be Loved, by Maroon 5. I can get behind Songs about Jane. Hmm. I never really considered what the name Jane meant to me until my grandmother passed, but now I realize it means a lot to me. That was her name. Jane Kathleen Armstrong, and when she married my Grandfather, Frederick Richard Kennard, well then she became Jane Kennard. She would remain Jane Kennard until her death. But the point of this is, I am now hearing and seeing her name how she would see it. I am more observant about the name Jane. Plain and simple.

Last night was hella busy at work. First off, one of the strongest kitchen assets we have, Skye, did not come into work. Realistically this wasn’t the end of the world, because one of our managers Eric was present and handled the situation quite well, albeit his level of fatigue was surprisingly high. I am not sure what the owner is asking of Eric as the General Manager of the the MAC’D empire, but like most people I meet, he is probably underpaid. I am still very much enjoying working for MAC’D. First off, it’s damn-good for my reputation. I am slowly realizing my innate alignment with pop culture is unavoidable, and MAC’D fits that bill perfectly; have you seen the viral video about MAC’D online? When it comes to pop culture: it is not that I desire to be apart of it, it is that I am a part of it. I have been molded intimately by pop culture. My mother and my grandmother both had a keen interest in the lives of celebrities. I never understood their interest in reading People, and Star magazine, but nonetheless I picked those magazines up too. I was always looking for the money, though. The people in those magazines are rich people, and that is what incited me most. Now I realize many of the people in those magazines are also hardworkers, and they have chosen to do a form of work they (mostly) enjoy. If only I viewed things as such during my youth. However, all of those years of having my mother and my grandmother intertwining their lives with the folks in those magazines, has brought me to a similar place. I am in the midst of choosing a career path that delegates my work to being popular, or failing.

I am just writing because it feels good, and I am well aware I am just writing about…me, basically; for lack of a better. Who do I think will be interested to read about my life? Who do I think will find my blog inciting simply because ‘it’s written by a pretty cool dude,’ ? Well, honestly, I am not so sure it’s everyday people. It might be a different breed of folks who enjoy my blog. Musicians, artists, actors, and public figures certainly fit the bill. Or should I say, there exists musicians, artists, actors, and public figures which would be interested in reading my blog, and I intend to find them, and I intend to introduce myself. The more popular a person is, and if they expose themselves to the world in the fashion a celebrity must, then the easier I can determine if they are the type of individual who would enjoy my blog. From afar I can examine their personality, then target advertise to them, and ideally they start reading my blog organically (remember I could have targeted them wrong, or maybe my advertisement just didn’t hit right). When a new reader to my blog is of a popular nature, then the hardwork I put in finding that reader will be exponentially returned to me, as they tell their friends and followers about my blog. Is that hoping for to much? I know that most people would say yes. Some would even find it presumptuous of me to…be an egotistical bastard? But let me break it down for you: first of all, my parents were never married. Second, my wit is exceeded only by that of my girlfriend Jo. Thirdly, an ego based on cleverness does not appear overnight, and remain standing; this is not Turkey.

I have talked about a whole lot of nothing so far today. Ugh. And I drank just a tiny bit of coffee, and of course I smoked a little reefer, and I am feeling a little scatterbrained. I do enjoy smoking weed, but it is quite annoying the effect it has on memory. I was not finished writing the above paragraph, but I lost my thought process as I refined a single statement over, and over again, eventually losing sight of the overall picture and my vigor to continue writing it. I meant to tell you that my ego is built of bricks formed by years of friendly encouragement, but I spent too much time seeking out a better word than ‘coddling,’ and eventually the whole rest of the idea wet to pot. Here I am; back to talking about nothing. I wrote this whole paragraph (so far) in the time it took me to write the final two sentences of the last one. I don’t even know. Sometimes I think being human is a curse, at least this late in the game. As my ole friend Corey told me once (and this statement has only gotten more true over time), ‘Freewill throws a wrench in my plans all the time.’ That how I feel. My life is as organic as it gets for a blogger in the modern day. My freedom is full and bountiful. Sometimes that gets in the way of hardwork and success, because I lack self-discipline and self-control. These are the things I hope to work on the most when I travel to India and South East Asia. In telling you about my goals, I am forcing some accountability unto myself. I think this is a good practice. The time is 8:02 AM in San Francisco. It is July 5th. [P.S. – I sat here in Ashley’s cafe and edited this thing (finally) right away, and now it is posting time! Woo! It is is now 9:28 AM in SF].

Chris.

This is Not a Drill

I am sitting in a very tiny room on Bartol Street in San Francisco. I just roasted some jilly bean I obtained from a dispensary, of which I visited 2.5, and walked past an additional 1.5. The name of the place is Basa, and it’s lit, fam. I also visited Sparc, and was very pleased with their selection, and disheartened by the expense. I knew what it would be, as I visited the website prior. I have been on the lookout for a good deal from them, as I know they exist (early birds, night owls). Alas, the quest is nether reaching; purchasing of any item requires vigilance, but repeated acquisition tells the story of constant vigilance. I need to broaden my wings, encompassing the whole of my day; Eagle by day, Owl by night.

The school next to my abode is alarming, courtesy of what I am guessing is a fire…drill. One thing that is new to my cerebral senses: public alarms in this city are accompanied by seismic voices of warning. It always feels like Half-Life 2 when that shit starts happening, and the fire drill (at this point I know it was a drill, the commotion is over) was no different. “There is a fire in the building…Please Exit Immediately.” It just seems odd to be accompanying a drill.

Update: this is not a drill I heard. I decided to get up and investigate, as one might, plus I heard some truck noises. Upon leaving my room and walking 3 steps, I saw the truck. One firetruck, so it couldn’t have been too large a blaze. So that’s pretty much a wrap on that story, and my poor examination of it. I ate a sandwich between this paragraph and the last one. I hunger for more.

The dispensary weed is leagues better than anything I’ve contacted recently, including Seattle. At $50-$70 an eighth, you get some incredible buds. At Basa today, the lady informed me that California will be moving over to the same format as Seattle; everything in plastic, no more smelling the bud in the store. Sad, sad news for the industry, and I am very disappointed to hear it. I am honestly too wrecked from a short day of cleaning carpeting to speak on the subject further. I must shower.

Chris

MMJ, and the following day

On Monday December 18th, I got my medical marijuana card in the state of California. It is easier than getting your girlfriend pregnant. It is streamlined, and it is a comfortable process. I used NuggMD, a website and online physician service. The entire process from “I’m going to look into getting my medical card today,” all the way to: “That was easier than I thought,” took about 30 minutes. Holy shit, I know, only 30 minutes from Google search to Gmail confirmation. That’s the future of marijuana, for you Wisconsinites showing love to a local, reading his blog.

So I obtained my MMJ recommendation, could immediately have ganja delivered to my house, and will receive a paper copy of my recommendation in a few days’ time, as I have yet to receive it. I did all this with a picture of my Wisconsin Driver’s license that, lowkey, is suspended from a DUI until February.

The remainder of my Monday was occupied with work around the property on which I live, followed by a trip to the Green Tortoise Hostel, where I work, for dinner. There I met a man with some potent and foot-fungus-odor-having cannabis. It is now Wednesday, and I have yet to use the medical card.

Ohad, Janie, and Ofir.

Tuesday was another eventful day, as I obtained my first piece of HeartofZeus merchandise: a black t-shirt with white lettering. The shirt I had made at a place called Bang-On, which is on Haight street in SF. I was very pleased with the service, and the custom shirts they make and sell at the shop are fucking phenomenal. They also have a fairly premium supply of vintage gear, but that’s not a world of fashion I choose to indulge in. The sad truth however, is that purchasing my merchandise online might be the only logical solution to the logistical issue a small time blogger like me is of course going to incur, but I will let you know how my next merch purchase goes. Check my Instagram to find me wearing the afore mentioned HeartofZeus T-Shirt all over the Bay Area!

Tuesday night I also made it to the hostel for dinner, where I met up with two friends and made a third. Ofir made dinner after concluding from a bout of sickness. He’s the one who’s face you can’t see in the picture. Sorry about that Ofir, but it was still the best of the pictures. Ohad is my coworker, and Janie left to return to Montreal last night after this meal. Everyday at the Green Tortoise Hostel is a unique and interesting experience.

That concludes my short update, and thank you for taking the time. More to come soon! Including a new section devoted to the many artists I know. You can expect it slowly, then all at once.

Chris. 12.20.17

Modern Day Wine; Present Day Cannabis

Prefillossero is a wine produced by the Lisini estate in Montalcino Italy. This wine is unlike anything else available on earth, in that it is produced from grapes that are the only left of its kind; all the others fell victim to a plague of Phylloxera, which is a small insect. From 1863 until the peak of destruction in 1889, vineyards across Europe were devastated one after the other. Only small pockets of grapes remain, to this day, unaffected. Some grapes were lost forever; extinct. The grape vines were hybridized, as well as grafted together with the resistant American vines, in order to prevent total annihilation. In this process, the grapes were changed, and to the connoisseur, nothing in the wine industry has been the same. Prefillossero means in Italian: Before the Phylloxera. Now, let us talk about marijuana.

There are many, many, many strains of cannabis, but they did not show up overnight. Nearly every one of these strains was birthed into existence due to personal interest. Did you know Chemdog came from Florida? It’s was probably brought to life in a basement, and FSU students we’re probably some of the first to smoke it, all only about 10 years ago. Now Chemdog is a readily available and popular strain of marijuana; I can walk down the street and buy it legally, right now. When it comes to strains of marijuana however, landrace strains are the end all, be all.
‘A landrace is a domesticated, locally adapted, traditional variety of a species of animal or plant that has developed over time…’- Check it out.
So landrace marijuana strains are the original strains, the ones that are different because of where they evolved, vs human intervention.

Cannabis has been illegal for the lifetime of almost any of my readers, and believe me when I say I understand the struggles brought on by this prohibition. However let us not forget, least of all when it should be most prevalent, that the history of cannabis is deep and rich, alike wine. The culture is just as important as the consumption. The basement grow operations of the 1990’s and 2000’s led to the glorious ganja of today, and it would be erroneous to change a system that has proved nearly errorless.

I am here to preach, and be heard, that corporate involvement within the marijuana industry will alter the history of humanity in a degenerative fashion. The devastation that is sections of our history has been brought to you by: Greed over Democracy. The involvement of big business in marijuana could easily lead to corruption in marijuana which could lead to the destruction of marijuana. Was the Phylloxera plague that swept the vineyards of Europe brought on by capitalism, or simply human curiosity and evolution? Without answering that first question, I will riddle you a second: what is the greatest invention since the wheel?
The Internet.

Our need and requirements for a government have vastly changed, and it’s almost as if no one has noticed. No one is preparing. The government in America has become an unarguable greed machine. It’s like the cost of shipping didn’t go down and the wheel was just invented. You’re not going to do business with the old fart who still sends his business by foot. You’re going to utilize the younger crowd putting their stake in the new-fangled wheel. The government just facilitates, a role that could easily be filled by a little Meditation and the Internet. We can’t get lost in any one pitch of our reality. We can’t be lazy, and the truth will unfortunately present itself; life is just fucking hard y’all.

I see a world with legal marijuana, and that is the basket I’m putting my eggs in. However that is not the only vision I see for the future. A society where Judges are as readily available as police. A land where people who mistreat the environment receive the absolute maximum in often revised punishments. A planet where education is prevalent and everyone understands why.

The real problem with disaster is that once averted, no one can learn from the consequences. We will not lose our marijuana strains to any epi or pandemics. This includes the 1st world pandemic of capitalism.

Chris.10.21.2017

The Inevitability of Greed, and the Cannabis Industry

“It would be wryly interesting if in human history the cultivation of marijuana led generally to the invention of agriculture, and thereby to civilization.” Carl Sagan, The Dragons of Eden, Speculations on the Origin of Human Intelligence p 191 footnote.

Cannabis has followed humanity throughout the ages. For a majority of human history cannabis, and hemp cultivation has been encouraged by the people of earth. The truth is little has changed except for the implementation of laws against cannabis, and cannabis cultivation is still encouraged by the people. Irene Vorik was the Minister of Heath and Interior for Holland during the 1970’s, and she is responsible for the legalization of cannabis in Amsterdam. In 2012 two states in the United States legalized cannabis, and since then cannabis cultivation in America has grown significantly. As of current: 8 states have legalized cannabis recreationally, and 29 states have legalized it medicinally. Legal cannabis is the way of the future, globally.

The intention of this article is to bring focus to the importance of legal cannabis’ effect on the outcome of our future. Cannabis did not play a small role in the upbringing of humanity, it played a large one. As education about cannabis and its history spreads, the people of earth will be demanding legalization; and they will garner success. My focus here at Heartofzeus will be shifting to the general theme of cannabis, and the future of the cannabis industry. I think it to be of the utmost importance we as a human race maintain constant vigilance in regards to our lackadaisical attitude towards the difficulty of obtaining our marijuana. If we are not observant and voraciously vocal about what we want to see within the cannabis industry, it will get lost to big business, just like every other marketable product. There is no shortcut to legalization, we cannot rest half way to our goal, and we must stay loud until the end.

A website that reports on a marijuana worldwide, https://mjbizdaily.com/, is a great place to start when gaining knowledge about the current state of affairs in the marijuana industry. You can read about companies doubling in size. You can read about companies expanding their business to outside of their home country. As a species, we cannot lie to ourselves about our aptitude for greed, and how prevalent it is in our daily lives, how it permeates our culture as a planet; Greed is a world constant, not to say generosity isn’t as well, but their effects are certainly differentiated.

Large corporate involvement in the cannabis industry will alter the future of it, undeniably. We may begin to see marijuana strains with THC content far above 30%, as money breeds product evolution. However I move to assume for the better of humanity that this is not what we want. We the people, if it is possible, will in time figure out how to produce the best possible product. This fact of the human condition ‘curiosity’ outweighs any benefits founded upon corporate involvement.

If marijuana does not maintain small overheads with craft grow-ops, corporate interests could put a halt on marijuana legalization. A world where we can buy weed at a store, but still not grow it like we do tomato plants. This being regardless of the security on the property where one grows cannabis, the only concern being the intoxicating flower ending up in the wrong hands; children stealing from yards and animals bringing it outside of the normal confines. If we maintain craftsmanship, and do not allow our greed to overtake us, we will see tomato-plant-like-legalization of cannabis. Otherwise we are literally putting our future back into the wrong hands.

To be continued…

Chris Buckley
10/16/2017